I woke up one morning
And walked across the world
Just a bag and some fear in hand
Having no clue of what was to come
Arriving in a strangers land
Without a clue of where to go
But clasping a familiar hand
We walked bravely though the rain and snow
To a place that promised to take us
To a place we could pretend
That was warm and familiar and new,
And was just a little like home.

Twenty years of security
And meals thrice a day
I wondered how I'd feed myself
And how I'd find my way
But I kept on waking up
Wondering what to make of life
And what to do with the opportunity
To make it all seem right

So I walked on, my love
I walked on
And now I'm alone again
And so I just walk on
I walked on, my dear
I walked on
And now I'm here it's cold again
But still I just walk on.

I arose another morning
In another foreign land
Not sure of where to put my feet,
Was it water or was it land?
All I knew was my restlessness
My need to drink in the day
Like a thirst that had gripped me since my birth
And awakenend my destiny

So I walked on, my girl,
I walked on
My shadow at my side
I walked on, bella
I walked on
Assured of my stride

So here I am a lifetime later
Just fighting to wake for morning sun.
Bouts of nostalgia make me smile
Make me live, and make me run
But no longer am I running
From the fear that kept me at bay
This time I keep on running
To make sure I seize the day

I walk on, my love
I walk on
Not fearing whatever may come
I walk on, my soul,
I walk on,
I keep on 'til the day is done.

Can you find me in this darkness
Or are you having too much trouble finding yourself
With your own hands and eyes?
I try to dress up for the cold
But what does it matter when I'm left outside
Knocking at the doors for days
and days
and days.
Sometimes I wonder if I'll be your biggest regret,
Or if, when I'm gone, you'd wish for me to return.
But right now I don't know if I'm staying or leaving
And I don't know where to abandon the sadness
To escape the shivering up my spine that's been haunting me
Ever since you told me not to come home.
I don't know how to convince you of our love
Or how to prove to you that I'm worthy our your love
And your faith
And the promises we made so many months ago.
I've tried my hardest to wait out the rain
But I can't get warm... it's just too damn cold
Everywhere I go.
I live in moments now where I forget about the chill
And I ignore the crows outside my window
Even though I see the murder waiting just beyond the door.
So here I am again
Not knowing what's inside and what's out
Or what to do about
Much of anything in my life.
So I sit, and try to sleep, and try to find some light
On my horizon.
It's just so dark
And so damn cold
I wonder if I'll ever sleep again.

T

Bringing me down...

Gravity

Gravity is working against me.
And gravity wants to bring me down.
I'll never know what makes a man
With all the love his heart can stand
Dream of ways to throw it all away.

Gravity is working against me.
And gravity wants to bring me down.
Twice as much ain't twice as good
And can't sustain like one-half could.
It's wanting more that's gonna send me to my knees.

Gravity, stay the hell away from me.
And gravity has taken better men than me.
But how could that be?
Just keep me where the light is.
Just keep me where the light is.

Come on keep me where the light is.
Come on keep me where the light is...

- John Mayer

Words to celebrate an inauguration

Stolen from L who stole it from Kelly. One of my favourite poets. There's a new face to things for our friends south of the border.

I, too, sing America
- by Langston Hughes

I, too, sing America.

I am the darker brother.
They send me to eat in the kitchen
When company comes,
But I laugh,And eat well,
And grow strong.

Tomorrow,
I'll be at the table
When company comes.
Nobody'll dare
Say to me,
"Eat in the kitchen,"
Then.

Besides,
They'll see how beautiful I am
And be ashamed -

I, too, am America.

Night-time scribblings

I used to write poems for strangers, for friends,
sitting above swimming pools at institutions of higher learning,
lounging in coffee shops looking out on the wind-blown streets
and overlooking the dry river valleys below.
Now I write under rainy skies and look out on ocean views,
staring out into the water to see if love's found it's way back to me.
In the meantime, while I endlessly wait,
I write poems about that meantime, the in-between time,
words which fill that space between
fearing and wondering and knowing what's to come...
poems about the quiet, about what's left, about what may never come,
singing to myself,
as I fade into my own memories,
as I dance alone in a burning room*.

* reference to "Slow Dancing in a Burning Room" by John Mayer


So I see you carrying that fire inside... but how will you put it to use?
Will you light the candles of others and spread some light around?
Or will it be the fire that burns you and consumes you from within?

Where...

Have you ever been told not to mistake motion for action?
Or that you shouldn't pursue simple self-satisfaction?
For there are bigger things out there, and more to pursue
But the more you acquire means there's much more to lose.

Can I sleep off the lonely?
Can I shrug off the cold?
Can I outrun the anger
And break from the mold?
You hold on to your rage
Like a gun by your side
While licking your wounds
And maintaining your pride.
But when will I come back
Into focus for you?
Or are you trying to tell me
It's over, we're through?
I beg for your words
Like salvation, like rain.
But I receive just the silence,
The void, and the pain.
Will ever you find
What you lost in the start
Of all this bitterness
Or will you simply depart?

I've asked the question and had people respond as to whether one needs to be happy on one's own before they can be happy with someone else. I think the respondants reflected what I was thinking... that a strong sense of self is necessary (or, at the very least, quite useful) before embarking on the pursuit of a common life. So I keep wondering... have you met... you? And if so, do you like what you see?

And if you don't, where does
that
leave
me?

Here

After nearly two weeks of virus-related issues (both physically and in my computer), I now have my internet access back again. I'll be around in coming days with more to say. Alas, the night is here and slumber awaits. Until then...

T