Stuck in the wonderful Rockies...

And not just the Rockies, but the glorious town of Golden, B.C. It's actually beautiful here... the snow is slowly falling outside, everything is wearing a charming white blanket, and the town is nearly silent.

It doesn't change the fact that we're kinda-sorta stranded here until tomorrow. The roads are miserable and slippery, drivers are morons, and I'm a bit of an anxious guy when the roads are remotely terrible. Other than K's anxiety about missing work tomorrow, I think we're both in good spirits. We just returned from a quiet dinner, and our hotel room is clean, warm and has free internet. Really, things could be much worse. And I've been battling a cold for the past 2 days, so I'm glad for the rest from the road. When it takes you 4.5 hours to drive a distance that should only take 3 hours, I get a little bit stressed out.

Still, the holidays were enjoyable, except that they were far too short. We spent less than 48 hours in Lethy visiting my parents and the rest of the M family, and drove up to Airdrie to visit the in-laws for the same stint of less than 48 hours. Santa spoiled us rotten, and my big brother came up with some fantastic gifts for both K and I. Really, all the gifts were great, but J's gifts just showed a great deal of thought and sentiment, and K and I both appreciated it enormously. The worst part about these visits is that we just don't have enough time to visit with everyone. I didn't even have the chance to visit with my grandparents on my dad's side. When there's 25 people around and you only have 2 hours to see each one of them, people get missed or ignored altogether. I'm excited that next year we'll hopefully create an opportunity to see everyone for a great deal longer.

"Oh, the weather outside is frightful (actually, it's not that bad, but the roads suck)
But the [radiator] inside is delightful. (well, moderately respectable, anyway)
And since there's no place to go (except home and work)
Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow (as long as it lets up and is clear driving in the morning)."

Happy holidays, all!

-T

Mixed emotions on the final day before holidays

I woke up this morning tired as hell. I haven't slept a tonne lately, and I got to bed later than I was hoping last night. There's so much to do before going back home for Christmas that it seems like we're always puttering until we're well past the need for sleep.

But I walked into the school this morning with mixed feelings. I'm really excited that I don't have much to do for today, and that I'm on holidays as of 3:19pm this afternoon. I have some small tokens of appreciation for my sponsor teachers, and I brought some cookies for the staff. But I'm getting kinda sad... I don't teach any of these kids again after today, and even though a number of them have pushed my buttons and provided a very good foundation for many decades of ulcers, I really enjoy coming here in the morning. I really like getting to know the students and trying to get them interested in what I'm teaching. I try to make fun of myself enough so that they can feel at ease. And I did get to know a few of them really well, and it definitely sucks that I have to say goodbye to teaching them. I know I'll see them in the new year, since I'm around until June, but unless I get a job here, I won't teach them again. And 99% of them are students I want to teach again.

Not to mention it's Christmas, and since I moved away from home, I become really sentimental when Christmas time comes around. I become a bit of a blubbering idiot when I go back and see my families. I'm a pretty independent guy and really like doing my own thing, but I'm still close with my whole family, and sometimes it's hard being a 9 hour drive away. It's even harder when you're a ferry trip AND a 13 hour drive away.

Last night Kerrie and I also exchanged gifts, and she bought us a little resort getaway for March over Spring Break, which I'm really excited for. Those have always been my favorite gifts... nice meals at a nice restaurant, nights away at a resort, or just excuses to relax in general. We rarely ever get a chance to take the opportunities, so when they come along, I appreciate them so much more.

I hope I'll have a chance to update again before Christmas, but if I don't, I hope the 10 people who read this have a wonderful Christmas and a safe holiday season. Take care! Until again, my friends...

-T

I think I'll get to sleep on Sunday

Lately I haven't been sleeping well. Particularly last night, I think the rush and stress related to this last push before Christmas holidays has made me restless and actually caused quite a mediocre day for me in the mood department. If you look at the day's events, it would've seemed like a wonderful day. But I simply couldn't enjoy it, even though I tried. I arrived on time, starting working first thing in the morning, and I didn't have to teach. I had a chance to hang out for lunch with some of the other teachers, had a good chat with one of my fellow interns, received a free dinner during our staff meeting, got some stuff done at the house, and was sleeping before 11pm. Seems successful, no? But I was feeling this miserable anxiety through almost the whole day, and I couldn't shake it. I really questioned the success of my first term, and was frustrated with the progress in my SS class, since they weren't nearly as far as I think they should have been. I felt cynical and bitter and didn't really have any plausible reason for it.

But, today is a new day. And I brought cookies.

On the bright side, Christmas holidays start on Friday afternoon at approximately 2pm. I'm giving a test in the first half of the afternoon class, and we have a school-wide assembly after that at 2pm, so I'll officially be done with the teaching thing when the assembly starts. And then it's back to Alberta on Saturday! I'm really excited, and it sounds like I'll be able to sleep in and be lazy for a good part of Sunday. It's gonna be blissful.

And just a plug for a Canadian musician... if you haven't heard Sarah McLachlan's new Christmas album, you should... I thought it was wonderful. I had dinner over at one of my sponsor teacher's houses two nights ago and they had it playing in the background. It's sombre, but it's beautiful music.

- T

Reflections in the wake of tragedy

An acquaintance of mine just had her father pass away from a hard battle with lung cancer. Every time I hear of such a tragedy, I seem to really reconsider my priorities in life. I think it's sad that it takes such a tragedy for me to take stock in what's really important in life. I like to think I have my priorities straight, but in times like these, I really do not think I do.

One thing it does... it definitely makes me thankful that I'm able to go back to Alberta next weekend to see my family.

"Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted"... I can only hope that this is true. If you ever read this, Teak, my thoughts (and K's) are with you. Take care.

- T

Homeward Bound in 8 days and my teaching philosophy

It's true, I'm still counting down the days. Obviously, this means I might be a bit excited about getting back to the 4-0-3 to visit the families over the holidays. Unfortunately (as always), K and I are only able to go back for about four days due to K needing to work and pay the bills, but it's still going to be nice to be able to see everyone. It actually works out really well considering the limited amount of time we get to visit, since I'll be able to see pretty much all the relatives in one fell swoop back in Lethy, and we'll be able to do the same in Airdrie immediately thereafter.

Part of the excitement is related to the fact that I get some time off from school, which is going to be thoroughly enjoyable. I love being here, but it's a job that you take with you wherever you go, so there's really not much for actual "days off". This is particularly true since we have education classes on top of our teaching. Still, I'm not complaining... other than the mediocre pay, I think I may have stumbled into the perfect job for me. There's holidays, and I get to stand up in front of groups of people and talk as much as I want. Really, for anyone who knows me at all, this is something positive. I may or may not be a bit notorious for being long-winded (and completely full of it).

I've also stumbled across some early ideas about what my teaching philosophy is going to look like, so if you're even the slightest bit interested, you can go here and read about my thoughts about this whole teaching thing. Ciao, all...

- T

P.S. Happy Birthday, Mom!

A new favorite

I've been denying for years that I actually enjoy country music. I always found that there were too many songs about hound dogs and riding horses and the joy and bliss of being a redneck. But I'm going to let out a secret... I don't even mind a lot of country music. And you could even say that I really like a bit of it. Possibly. Maybe.

A few weeks ago I asked a question in my Social Studies class: Is politics personal? Some of the students were a bit confused about what I meant by this, so I contextualized it a bit more and asked the question again: Is politics personal? I received a variety of reponses, some yes and some no... some fence-sitters as well (not surprisingly). But responses nonetheless.

I then played "Not Ready to Make Nice" by the Dixie Chicks. For anyone who knows the song and the recent events related to the band, you know about the controversy over the lead singer's comments about Bush on the eve of the invasion of Iraq. She publicly criticised Bush and his decision to invade Iraq while on stage in London, England, saying:

"... we're ashamed the President of the United States is from Texas."

Considering the political position of many (but not all) country music lovers in the U.S. (being of the right-wing conservative stream), this didn't exactly go over very well. Radio stations across the U.S. killed their airplay, and people started boycotting them, their concerts, and their music. They received threats, and nasty letters, and were mocked by other people in country music. This is also the time when patriotic symbolism in country music videos went through the roof. But "The Chicks" definitely ran into difficulties. This is where the song comes in.

After playing the song and reading off the lyrics to the class, I asked the question again: Is politics personal? There was still a variety of answers, but they had definitely changed. Most of the students had no idea this was going on at all. So we talked about it a little more, and discussed the nature of our rights to free speech, rights of consumerism and to buy what we want, and the right to personal safety. The conversation took on a whole

This is a long story that explains how I do actually enjoy some country music, and I've had the Dixie Chicks in my IPod for weeks now. I listen to "Not Ready to Make Nice" often. It's unbelievably scary to think about the extremes of personal conviction and the fear that some people need to instill in others in order to keep opinions from being shared. You see it in a variety of situations, but you don't often hear it as publicly.

I've actually always enjoyed some country, and even though I kicked up a fuss about it at home when my mom played it daily, I really don't minda lot of it. I've even attended some country shows (not that I had to pay money for them, but I still went). Does this mean I've got a pair of designer Wranglers on order and that I'm getting fitted for my Stetson next week? Not so much... I'd still take some good Kanye West over Toby Keith any day... but once in a while, Toby Keith may not be so bad.

- T

Oh yeah, I only have 4 more full days of teaching before Christmas holidays... weeeeee!

Do I count down the days?

I guess I do.

So, I really only have 5 more teaching days before the end of my teaching term. The way my schedule works is that I teach all day for one day, and the next day I have a full day of prep time. It seems like it would be glorious, but when you're not the hyper-organized, goal-setting, "I'm going to spend 3.57 hours on this activity before spending 1.32 hours on this activity" kind of guy, the whole-day prep is never as productive as it should be, even when I feel like I've worked extermely hard the whole time.

But, oh joy, oh bliss, it's the weekend. This week was extremely long, and when you teach grade 10's on Friday afternoon from 12:30-3:30, it's kinda hard to keep their attention, especially in a computer lab when they're doing research for their research projects. Thus, the frustration. I literally went into the office yesterday and did the biggest jumping heel click in the world... you know, the type you used to see in old musicals when young men receive a smooch on the cheek from the bird they've been chasing? Yuppers, that was me. The girls in the office got a kick out of it, but the head of our science department, who was standing close by, asked, "Does this mean that you don't like teaching, Mr. M?" I responded by saying, "Absolutely not, Mr. P! I LOVE teaching... It just means that I like Friday's MORE!" I thought this was clever, but he looked at me with this suspicious, "I don't know about you, Mr. M" sort of look. Oh well, can't please 'em all! :)

But I've officially received all of my Term 1 Summative Reports for this practicum, and the reviews were all pretty much top-notch. All my sponsors are generally happy with what I'm doing, and with a really good Term 1 report from all of them (1 Uni advisor and 2 sponsor teachers), I can start applying for jobs as of February if I want. Whether I do or not is a totally different story, but it's nice to know that I'm doing well enough to have the option. And every day I'm able to come home and know that I really like the kids I teach. I had a great tutorial after school with a bunch of the keeners in my class on Wednesday, and after getting creative with my test-writing to make it a little more entertaining, I received a good response from the Socials class that, in reality, could've gone really awry if I didn't try to provide some comic relief once in a while.

Although this isn't where I'm going to make my million, I've been really happy with how everything's gone (stress and all)... this is also easy to say now that I'm nearly done this term. The story may not be the same come April when I have 3 new sponsor teachers PLUS my Uni advisor. Only five more days... five more days... five more days.... :)

- T

Defining "irony" on my Wednesday night

After getting a bit of work done and having what seemed like the longest day ever, I sat down with K to watch some TV. We watched "The Biggest Loser", which is a reality TV competition profiling people on a ranch who attempt to lose the most weight every week in order to change their lives. The winner is "The Biggest Loser". I actually really enjoy watching it, just because I feel like I should work out, and by watching the show, I may soak up some motivation through osmosis.

Here's the irony...

During one commerical break, I went on the internet and typed in my information to figure out my BMI (Body Mass Index)... for a 24 year old guy who is 5'10" (like myself), my BMI should be 24. My actual BMI? 24.1. WEEEEEEEEEEE!

During the next commercial break, I walk into the kitchen, take out a bowl and a spoon, and fix myself a massive bowl of vanilla ice cream with chocolate sauce, along with a big glass of milk, then return to the living room to finish watching these people damn-near die in order to prevent dying from obesity. Hmmm... I'm not sure I'm making great connections here. Oh well, the ice cream was TASTY! :)

- T

Entry 60... T.M.'s Guide to a Great Internship

Three more weeks to go! Weeeeeeee!

Things in student-teaching land have been going relatively well. Although this week is going to be busy and challenging (as are most), I'm pretty excited that I'm going to be done my first term of student teaching in about 20 days. I actually only have 7 days of teaching left before Christmas holidays, so that makes it even more scary and more intense!

I actually want to share my Powerpoint presentation that I did for my education class on Saturday, which was a sort of Bonehead's Guide to a Great Practicum, but I have no clue how to (or even if I can) post powerpoint files onto here for everyone to see. But I'm going to post the text anyway.... I don't know if the pictures I'm using are really kosher to use if they're copyrighted... I guess I should just deny that I copywrited any images or cartoons :) So here it is...

T.M.'s Guide to a Great Teaching Practicum

1) You are a sponge.
Your number one goal is to beg, borrow, and steal absolutely any suggestions, materials, or good advice possible while enrolled in the internship program. You're paying to work, so soak it up, and take everything you can!

2) There are two certainties in teaching: prep and sleep deprivation.
We all want time to enjoy ourselves, but a better lesson means a better teaching experience for you and your students (believe me, this comes directly from experience). Make sure that you're well planned, you're keeping a "Big Picture" in mind, and you're constantly setting goals for yourself. Will this create magic? Probably not. But it will help make you better teachers.

3) Have a "Plan Y"
You may very well go through 24.9 ideas (both good and bad) in a class... you're going to need a #25. Always have a backup plan in case things don't go your way.

4) Students are like dogs... they can smell fear from a mile away.
Classroom management is vitally important to a quality teaching experience. Post your rules in plain sight, keep them simple, and back up your threats. Remember, you run the show. Students can have fun, but they always need to remember who is in charge.

5) Pack Lightly
Your students will bring enough baggage to school for everyone. You are not just a teacher... you are a parent, a psychologist, and a confidant. Which hat will you wear today? Chances are, the answer is all of them.

6) When dealing with parents: Hope for the best, but expect the worst.
You really never know how parents are going to react to your teaching. Hope for praise (because we all know that you ARE a great teacher), but expect that everything may not be rosy. These parents are looking out for their children's best interest. Let them talk, listen to what they say, and respond with patience and calm. Be the ball. Get in the zone. You are Yoda.

7) Networking in the school should not be limited to internet access.
Get to know your staff. These people will be your colleagues, your friends, and your comrades-in-arms for the rest of your career. Make yourself a part of their social world.

8) When in doubt, hug a receptionist or a custodian.
These people are in control of your photocopying, ordering, and school-supply fate. Do your best to get to know them and, if possible, "make their day" once in a while.

9) Think of every day as Friday.
Take some time out of every day just to talk to someone. We all need time to vent, especially after seven hours of being bombarded by teenage hormones. Maybe there's a blog out there that could be of use... maybe not though (Inside joke... I set up another blog for my fellow interns). But try to make time to engage in cathartic activities that relieve your daily stresses and share your experience with as many people as possible.

10) You are your biggest asset.
We all have family, friends, and some form of a social life. Try to make time to embrace this. Yes, you are a teacher now, and your occupation stretches outside the walls of the school However, you still need to keep living your life. Air is your friend, so breathe it in. Relax. Enjoy this time. Although it's stressful, it's probably the only time in your career that you will have people helpingand supporting and listening to you whenever you're feeling down. Take advantage and enjoy it.

This presentation was accompanied by witty banter and clever cartoons and images that turned it into an "A" effort. You'll just have to imagine how wonderful it is, and if you want, I can send you a copy of the file. For tonight, my friends... adieu...

- T

My Friday

Interesting day... I had the opportunity to discuss legalized euthanasia, the budding Canadian landscape, Elizabethan theatre, and the hygiene habits of Englishmen in the 16th century. I'd say it was a pretty successful day, all in all.

Even though there were minor frustrations, I found that I left the class today with a little pep in my step and a need to tell someone about my day. It wasn't overly problematic with behaviour issues or attitude and my English kids seemed to enjoy the fact that I gave them an opportunity to insult me with a predeveloped list of Shakespearean terms that ranged from "toadstool" to "whore-monger". Even though my History classes aren't overly-exciting, I'm still managing to feel my way through the material, all the while dreaming of next term when I can actually incorporate some of the activities and new knowledge and methods of organizing myself that I haven't been able to include yet.

Before entering teaching, I anticipated that I would really dislike teaching poetry and Shakespeare. However, I've been pleasantly surprised... I'm entering the last few weeks of Part 1 of my practicum knowing that I really enjoy teaching these forms of language-art. I get right into writing my own haikus and telling people about how Shakespeare probably only bathed once a year (in May, of course). I also enjoy hearing students complain about poetry and Shakespeare, only to hear them change their tune by the end of class.

And I have a breakfast "meeting" with two of my sponsor teachers tomorrow... in other words, I'm hanging out with the boys for a hour or two in the morning. I still have a tonne of work to do in the next 2 days, but maybe things aren't too bad... hell, the weather's even warming up.

- T

Envy

The alarm rang at 5:55am this morning, as per usual. K reached over and hit the snooze button so I could get 9 more minutes of much needed slumber bliss (also part of the normal ritual). Finally, when the radio starting screaming at us again, I crawled out of my toasty bed and made the bitterly cold dash for the bathroom so I could turn on the steamy shower and enjoy a few more minutes of warmth while I tried to rub the sleep from my eyes. I've been known to have a standing nap while in the shower on a cold day, but this was not one of those days. After I spent as long as possible enjoying the hot water, I needed to keep going with the ritual. After tossing on some comfy home-clothes (also known as sweats), I headed to the living room for breakfast (again, the usual: cereal with some fruit and a glass of juice) and some random tidbits of Dawson's Creek, sports highlights, random excerpts from the CBC morning news, and a brief perusal of the Weather Channel. Not too nice out there, that's for sure.

It was then into the kitchen to make some coffee for K and I and prepare a lunch for me... also predictable: soup, granola bar, fruit bar, an apple and some crackers. As always, I looked at my watch and the panic began to set in. 7:00am and still teeth to brush, bag to pack, clothes to put on, keys to find, coffee to prepare, wife to kiss, a double check and out the door. It never ceases to amaze me how I can follow this routine time and time again. The same ritual takes place every day, and I'm usually rushing out the door because if I don't leave at a specific time, my bus leaves without me. Rarely am I early, but often I'm late. I guess it just wouldn't be ME if I wasn't rushing around like a bonehead... that's the way I roll.

So after filling all ritual requirements for the morning, I headed out the door and down the apartment stairs when WHAM! A bag of bricks to the solar plexus! The cold met me with a cocky grin... it was -24... without any consideration of the wind chill which was, luckily, minimal. I made the 10 minute walk to the bus with my awesome UFA toque, mitts, long johns, etc., waited for another 5-6 minutes for the right bus, and finally warmed up and drank my coffee as the sun rose over the valley. I like those scenes where everything is bathed in a warm orange glow of the sunrise... it makes the icy roads and frozen breath seem just a little more bearable.

When I got to the school I received an email telling me that Vancouver Island is getting more snow and Victoria is pretty much shutting down. The punks out west (also known as the Island's Student Teachers) get another snow day, and my blogging buddy told the world all about it. Another friend from Alberta asked me last night if we got any snow days here... I told her that unlike Victoria, the Okanagan actually had ploughs. Envy is seeping from my pores. I'm kinda wishing that I was still on the Island... I could definitely use a mid-week holiday.

I know... poor me :)

- T

Bienvenue a l'hiver

I think that's the French translation. Maybe if Erin stops by she can verify my linguistic (in)abilities.

It's pretty much been snowing non-stop for 24 hours. I think there were short stints of clarity, but this is the most snow I've seen in about 4 years. I'm definitely a prairie boy at heart, but after living on the coast for 3 years and moving out to the Okanagan, this is the first real chunk of winter I've seen since I was back living at home in the 4-0-3.

It was actually quite beautiful yesterday. Movie-scene snowflakes were falling everywhere, gather in neat little piles on window ledges and tree branches. Dogs donned cute little sweaters and people were brushing off their cars as if it was an enjoyable novelty. I'm sure they were thinking, "It's not too cold out... maybe this whole winter thing isn't too bad after all!" Well, they probably thought this until they got back into their houses, turned on the weather channel and noticed that Tuesday is supposed to see a high of -14 degrees. MINUS 14!!! I moved away from Alberta for a few reasons, one of them being that there was actually WINTER! I sure don't think my walk to the bus tomorrow morning is going to be too enjoyable. At all.

Maybe if K gets a job that pays $100k per year, we can actually afford to go out to the coast and fly back regularly to Alberta to visit. Who am I kidding... neither of us are going to be able to do such a thing anytime soon. Unless our numbers come through on the lotto. I guess that means I should buy a ticket more than once a year.

My first-term summative report is happening this coming Friday for my practicum, so wish me luck. It's only causing a moderate amount of stress, since I'm more worried about figuring out some interesting activities to teach Canadian Confederation on Tuesday and Thursday and get through the rest of my unit lessons before December 22nd. Oh joy, oh bliss... C'est la vie.

- T

Poems for Thursday

Some people think that I'm a big nerd. Okay, I am. But I like to think that the fact that I write occasional poems is respectable, and proves my masculine security. So here are two haikus that I wrote this summer during my English "Methods" class:

The dew dripped slowly
Over the stone steps for years.
The stone yields, broken.

Bird perched on a wire;
The energy of the world
Passes underfoot.

- T

Things you may not know...

I was once obsessed with the internet. Some might be suspicious as to whether this is still the case, and I think an argument could probably be made. But I can live (reluctantly) without it. However, about 8 years ago it really became a huge part of my daily life and definitely developed a part of me.

I used to listen to a lot of hard rock and alternative music while I was in high school. Although I still appreciate some music in those genres today, I have Corinne Bailey Rae, Billie Holiday, and Dave Matthews Band in my IPod these days. Much more mellow. But I listened to a lot of Creed when they were popular. I also listened to some Pearl Jam, Tea Party, Matt Good, and other various rock bands. But after listening to Creed daily, I started looking for band information and concert dates which may have provided me with an opportunity to see them live. Unfortunately, it was not meant to be. However, I did come across something else: an online BBS (Bulliten Board System).

Now, I should say that, for those of you who don't know (probably no one, since only about 8 people read this blog, my immediate family members being 5 of them), I grew up going to church most Sundays and attended Catholic school my entire life. I still go back to my old high school when I'm home in Alberta to visit some of my old teachers. My mom even works at my old elementary school (and has been for numerous years). Jokingly, I used to call myself a "cultural Catholic". A cultural Catholic is like a secular Jewish person, but with a rosary at the centre of the tradition rather than the Torah or a Yamulka.

In my teens, I started really getting into intense song lyrics and books about religion, both western and eastern. I went through a fairly long phase of constantly questioning my religious beliefs and engaging with other people on the topic. My mom tells me that I kicked up a pretty big fuss when "confirmation" came around (Junior High sometime, I think about 13-14 years old), and continued to challenge such things for numerous years thereafter. I stopped going to church around the age of 16 or 17, and although I occasionally attend now and have no real problem attending church, it's not something I pursue very often.

So, back to being an internet geek. I went to Creed's official website and stumbled across this bulliten board. It was mainly a place where people could talk about Creed's music, concerts they attended, lyrics they liked, etc. It also had a religion forum, since Creed's lyrics were highly allegorical and made many intense religious and/or Biblical allusions. I enjoyed the songs and music since it wasn't strictly religious, but definitely represented a perspective that was highly involved in engaging with religious questions or ideas. So I read. And kept reading. And then I signed up. And I posted once. Then again. Until I was posting nearly every day in a personal battle with every person on the board who had never questioned their personal religious beliefs or were so narrow-minded that I took it upon myself to enlighten them to the highly personal and highly relative nature of religious beliefs, particularly the vast differences between the various sects of Christianity and the suspicious foundation on which some of those beliefs were founded. . I was really interested in Reformation history, the history of the Catholic church, and the reasons for why modern Christianity existed in the form it did. So I kept posting. And arguing. And engaging.

This took up a lot of time. I neglected homework, was disrespectful to my parents, ignored my friends to a certain degree, and became somewhat obsessed. The funny thing is, I don't regret it for a second. Well, maybe the disrespecting parents part (and I know that it still happens from time to time), but otherwise, it was a very important formative experience for me.

I started reading a little bit about Deism and Taoism and Buddhism, and little bits about Islam and a touch of philosophy. I started reading C.S. Lewis and engaged with some of his arguments in Mere Christianity. In reality, I spent years wrestling with these beliefs and ideas and my guilt about what I was supposed to believe and what I believed in reality.

It's funny, but I still think of certain passages from the Bible that I still find extremely relevant. I'm not a believer in any sort of Biblical literalism (or anything near it), but I can't help but believe that there are some great things to be found in there. I still love the story of Jacob who wrestled with a messenger from God all night until he would be blessed... it is from this story that the name "Israel" was given to God's people, which literally means "He who wrestles with angels". I've always loved the name Jacob. Likewise, Proverbs 25:2 recalls this story: "It is the will of God to conceal an issue, but it is the glory of Kings to search out a matter". These phrases still have meaning in my life. But then again, I could probably give you a few similar passages from the mouth of Buddha or the Bhagavad Gita that reinforce such things. Another funny thing: I seem to always end up as the great "Defender of the Faith"... not literally, but it seems like every time I come across someone who doesn't understand Catholicism or Christianity or the history of Western religion, I feel as though I need to pipe up. I guess that's my Catholic training coming through, which I don't mind.

I know I've posted it before, but I'll leave it again; it's a quote from C.S. Lewis' "Mere Christianity:

"For the longest way round is the shortest way home"

It may take a long while to get someplace, but that just means that it was the right destination all along (indulging in my more romantic sentiments... I still watch Dead Poets' Society from time to time).

- T

Uhh... wow.

Wow.

I can't believe he just said/did that!

I think a little bit of puke just came up.

These were my reactions last night as I watched Sacha Baron Cohen spend about 95 minutes offending at least one sect of modern society at any given point. Yes, I went to see Borat last night with some of the interns and a teacher colleague of Mr. M's last night. Although I was constantly laughing/cringing/nauseous, I thought about the fact that I can never admit to my students that I went to see that flick! I really did think it was funny, but in a "I feel violated and uncomfortable" sort of funny that I almost feel guilty for enjoying.

K.M. made a good point about it after we returned to my place and had a drink to talk about our teaching experiences and the movie and other such interesting things. He noticed that Borat goes out of the way to make racist/sexist commentary throughout, which is obvious and blatant when taken from Borat's point of view. However, it's juxtaposed with allegedly "normal" Americans who reinforce those same values but do not see the irony or offensive nature of those values. He does a great job, too, of playing on the ignorance of American cultural ignorance, and a fellow blogger did a good job of pointing this out.

A funny side story... I was talking with my in-laws a couple years ago and made a bit of a slip in the conversation... for some reason, I was talking about what church in Calgary my grandparents went to, and it came out as "They attend a Pentecostal church in the Varsity area". After leaving, I was talking to Kerrie and it suddenly came into my mind... I looked at K and asked, "Did I say my grandparents went to a Pentecostal church?" "Umm... yeah, you did," she responded. Immediately I felt like an imbecile. "They aren't Pentecostal! They're Presbyterian! I have no idea why I said that! Now your parents think that my grandparents go to a church where people drop on the floow and speak in tongues!" I made a point of correcting my error the next time we visited them so there was no confusion. If you have seen Borat, you'll know exactly why this was such a severe error. K and I still laugh every time we think of Pentecostals. Not that there's anything wrong with being Pentecostal. I just don't believe in the whole modern Tower of Babel thing. However, I do want to see the new Brad Pitt movie, mainly due to the allusion to that very story.

Okay, no more ranting... time for work. Until again...

- T

Homework and the rising death toll

Maybe it's not as serious as that, but it seems like the general trend in education-related academia that homework is both useless and arguably detrimental to kids. Maclean's Magazine ran a back-to-school double issue in September that featured the title "Homework is Killing Kids". Just this month, another article (an interview) came out that discussed the negative nature of homework and how pointless it is. I'm concerned in a few ways... is the negative impact that damaging? And is the supposition the author/interviewee makes a valid one?

The argument to which the interviewee is responding assumes that homework is assigned because it has some sort of intrinsic value related to work ethic, determination, responsibility, etc. In other words, teachers assign homework because it makes a better student. Now, this may be my modern education speaking or the fact that I'm pretty "green" in the field of teaching, but I definitely have not made this assumption. I don't assign homework because it is good for kids or is has some inherent value. I assign it because I feel as though we need to get through material! The amount of information needed to cover the curriculum feels enormous, and at the end of class, students may or may not be done the work assigned. In a perfect class, there would be no need for homework, as the students would have been diligent and enthusiastic about their eduational experience. If this were some sort of non-anomolous case, then of course I would get rid of mandatory homework. However, I feel as though the reality is much different than this idealised myth. At the end of the day, many kids will goof-off, be unproductive, and simply not finish their work in a reasonable amount of time. Assessment strategies take a variety of forms, but they still test for required knowledge and skill development. Some students also need more time to finish things, and since we're strapped for time during the day, the evening (or early morning) is the only time left.

Sure, there is definitely a measure of accountability involved in doing homework, but it has more to do with the need to complete tasks and move through material than having some innate character-building quality. Students need to be responsible for their education, and if they spend time goofing around in class and being unproductive, they'll still be expected to get the work done. If my class works well and we cover the needed material in class, I don't assign homework. Realistically, this doesn't happen nearly as often as I'd like, but that has more to do with the fact that I'm still pretty new at this whole teaching thing and my lessons are not as effective as they could be. And I'm not sure they should be... I've only been in front of my class for just over a month, and although that sounds like a lot of time, it's a snap of the fingers in reality. The learning curve for this career is extremely steep, and if you don't keep up, you'll get left behind.

So my response to this reviling of homework is mixed. Do I agree that homework has no intrinsic character-building qualities? Sure I do. However, I do not make that assumption to begin with. Homework provides a means for completing what needs to be completed, and if students are willing to put the effort in for the six hours they are actually at the school, then I'll be fully satisfied to let them enjoy their evening. Family and friends are important. Shouldn't that be the way all jobs work?

- T

One of my curiosities... poppies and legacies

The long weekend that ended yesterday did very little to catch me up on the massive amount of work I SHOULD have done over the past few weeks. I'm kinda-sorta caught up, but knowing my limited abilities in the organizational department, I really should have done more. I did some marking, had my lesson plans relatively established, and had a couple good classes today. They could always go better, but they were generally sucessful.

Speaking of the weekend, I do have to say that I encountered some disappointment. Now, I'm sure that many people recall the Remembrance Day Ceremonies in school, and the obligatory video that most Canadian schools showed. When I was in elementary school, we watched one that featured real WWI and WWII war footage and events that were set to the music of our all-Canadian icon, Bryan Adams. I attended while supervising a class for our Social Studies department head, and was dismayed to find out that, yes, in 2006, a solid 18 years after entering elementary school, students were still watching the same video that I did!

My biggest issue was related to the tone of the music to which this war footage was set. Adams was rocking out, the song was relatively upbeat, and you might even get inspired if you heard it on the radio. As we get older, there are fewer and fewer veterans around, and more and more kids are growing up without any knowledge of the wars... their grandparents or great-grandparents aren't alive or weren't alive to experience the wars, and we're becoming more detached from the events all the time. In that Remembrance Day video, Bryan Adams rocks out while soliders are being shot dead. DEAD. And a big guitar solo blares through the speakers. Those were real men dying, and although the students were generally silent as they watched the videos, I don't think that they understood that those men dying in the video footage may have been their age... 15, 16, 17 years old. I don't think they even understand that 8mm film was used to shoot a good deal of the footage, or what impact the lack of technology had at the time. Those men were dead. Stone dead... from a nearby explosion or a high-calibre rifle.... it wasn't simply a recreation or comic imitation.

The Globe and Mail ran an article last week discussing the issue of whether Canada would hold a state funeral for the last living Canadian soldier of the Great War. There are 3 left alive. One is 105, and two others are 106. Best-case scenario, these three vets entered the war in 1918 and were AT MOST 17 or 18 years old. If they enlisted early on in the war (although the chances may be slim), they would have entered the war at 13 or 14 years of age. Just kids. These men don't have a great deal of time left, and once they're gone, that's it. As for the WWII vets, these men and women are in (at least) their 70's (born between the late 20's and early 30's) and will be following the same trends. My curiosity is this: what are we to do to make these events more meaningful to our kids? I have my grandparents who lived through and (on my dad's side) escaped Europe after surviving the war to come to Canada. But as this older generation passes on, who will be left to carry that torch?

Ask yourself that question the next time you see a poppy.

- T

Jon Stewart is my hero...

He's possibly the funniest guy around. Thanks, J., for providing access to this wonderful clip that made me smile from ear to ear.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I827LRbkgTg

Not much to add other thanthe fact that my interim report with my university advisor went well, and after having a nice dinner with K, I've regained some calm. Have a good night, all...

- T

The burden of expectations and restless nights

I didn't sleep well last night. I tossed. Turned. I'm sure there was a flop as well. I checked the clock at 3:47am and realized that I was going to be tired today. Luckily it's a non-teaching day. But that's the only reason I'm lucky. It's the morning of my university interim report. The meeting and moment of judgement come in exactly 3 hours and 17 minutes... oh, wait, 16 minutes. And I also just got finished with my sponsor teacher, who wants to see far more work for my unit plan than I expected... and she wants to see it today. The day of my judgment. In all facets of my academic life, there's stress, anxiety, and antacids.

When I'm in front of my classes, I don't really feel any anxiety. I'm comfortable, I enjoy being around the students, and although there are some stressful moments, I feel at ease in that situation. It's the satellite things in my day that cause me stress. Some are completely unrelated to teaching too... sometimes it's money, sometimes it's the huge burden of expectations from family/colleagues, other times it's just the day-to-day organizational struggles I face as an absent-minded buffoon. Example: I tried putting the milk in the cupboard beside our bowls and plates.

One of my friends/fellow interns asked me today if I ever seriously reconsider this whole teaching thing. My immediate reaction was, "Absolutely". I thought about this response for a minute and realized that it wasn't literally the teaching part that caused this concern... it was everything else. Teaching is an insane amount of work, especially as a new teacher. It requires a massive range of skills and you have a huge learning curve when you're starting out. Also, the threat of upset parents, angry students, disappointed sponsors, disappointed colleagues, hyper-anxious ME, is enough to drive a person nutso. I know I've said this before but it can be overwhelming.

Okay, enough tears for today. I've got some work ahead of me, so the pity party will have to wait. Until again...

- T

More memories...

K and I went to stay at the Kilmorey Lodge a few years ago as an excuse to get out of the city and spend some of the Christmas holidays together, alone. There isn't much to do there in the winter, except enjoy the peace and quiet of Waterton in the off-season. There were some deer searching for food... the odd bird would chirp in the distance... but for the most part, the onlt thing to hear was silence.

We went for a walk one night, and just as we started walking, it started to snow lightly. Hollywood snow. Fictional snow. Snow that only falls on TV or in books or in dreams.

Fresh snow always reminds me of how the world forgets... and it's people who remember. Whether through stories, books, moments engraved into our mind, we remember, but the world just moves on.

As we were walking silently, I looked behind us to see our footprints filling up and disappearing in the snow. It made me think of a tropical beach, where the tide washes away any evidence of people as they stroll along the water at sunset. As we walked, our footprints disappeared more and more. I knelt down and placed my hand in the snow. The crystals melted away, leaving the perfect imprint of my hand there. I stood up, and we kept walking. I looked back once more to see the flakes fill up the void beside the street, slowly and methodically painting over the imprint I left.

I guess I just wanted to leave something behind, even if I knew the inevitability of it disappearing once I'd gone.

- T

Saddam sentenced

Most of us have watched television shows about the wild west, where verdicts for particularly brutal crimes are taken seriously and the guilty are punished by death. Hangings, stonings, firing squad. You name it. But that was in the old days. Right? Actually, even though we may think those days are in the past, they still exist. Maybe not in a Toronto suburb, or a corner of North Vancouver, but they exist within the reaches of our network news and media. And in Iraq.

From time to time, I idealise the world and have the idea in my head that we're civilized organisms who understand that an eye for an eye makes the world blind. But I grew up in the Canadian prairie suburbia. I had a bike, and a small school to attend, caring parents, food on my plate, clothes on my back, and people around me who were looking out for my well-being. I would take my bike to the dirt hills without the slightest fear that something was going to happen to me. I was more worried about showing up at school with bad hair than anything else. I broke a few bones in my life, but only one of them was from any sort of angry aggression, and it was on the playground in sixth grade. Sure, I've said I've hated people, but there has been so little done to me that the hatred is predominantly superficial. In reality, I have little to hate. I find some things to be frustrated about from time to time, but very little to hate. And nothing (or no one) at all to wish death on.

Yet the media and our idealised western world makes us hate these people that do wrong. And for good reason, I'd say. So, then... Why does the whole verdict make me feel uneasy? Why am I uneasy that Saddam Hussein is being sentenced to death? We've been conditioned by years of seeing Saddam as an enemy, a war criminal, a despot. We see his picture and have ill feelings towards him. We see him and see an enemy of western ideals and against democracy. But still, I look at the guilty verdict and the upcoming punishment of hanging, and I find myself feeling uncertain... why? I'm still not sure.

I've known for a long time that politics in never black and white, and perspective is highly influential in our personal responses to such events. Our media plays a huge role (if not the only role) in the dispersement of information now, particularly since we can receive news about a pin dropping in Australia before it has even rolled to a stop. And we have faith in this media. Or most of it anyway. I read the news and believe what it says. When there is an obvious perspective being favoured (i.e. in the Editorial section), I take it with a grain of salt. Or if it's coming from Fox News. Or Ann Coulter. But even in regular news stories, points of view are being ignored, discarded, and pushed aside. I think my biggest problem is that I don't think we'll ever know the whole story of things happening internationally, or even locally for that matter. So how do we pursue truth and when do we just satisfy ourselves with the fact that we will never know anything. I know the old adage, "The more I learn, the more I realise I don't know". And it's definitely true to an extent. But can we ever simply satisfy ourselves with just not knowing? I guess this is when conviction takes over and accounts for some of the religious fanaticism that is around the world... we can't be totally sure, but we'll never be sure, so why not hold onto this one grain of sand with all that we're worth? Surely it can't be that wrong?

Maybe this post isn't very well organized, and maybe I'm starting off on one thing and just bringing out anything related. My original site disclaimer said to watch for such incessant rambling. So leave me a comment and let me know if you understood any of this.. I'll probably come back in a couple of days and see that it's nonsensical. Oh well, it's one of my trademarks. ;)

- T

And the season comes to an end...

Our volleyball team finished the final game of their season last night. During the day, I expected this to be our last game, since I sort of expected to lose. Not a great way to look at things, but I'm a realist at heart. They could've beat this team, but considering they don't play their best ball, well, any of the time, I shouldn't be surprised that they didn't come out flying in their final game either. All week I was looking forward to this game, since I knew it would be the last. I wouldn't have to worry about practices or games or tournaments or tracking down players when they miss a match or forget their gear for a game. I was just excited that I might be able to spend some time with K.

The referee's whistle blew the end of the final point, the players returned to their end lines, and we brought the guys in for a round of cheers for the other team. We shook hands with players, coaches, referees, and left the court. I made a brief final speech about being proud of them and was thanked by the players that attended the game, as well as the parents who came in support. I put my jacket on, rode the bus home, and watched some TV.

But I walked away with a little sadness. Not all of the guys made the final game due to Take Your Kid To Work Day commitments, and one of our players refused to show up out of spite (since I kicked him out of practice the previous day). And we lost a game I know we could've one. And I knew that we were done, and I wouldn't be able to coach this team anymore. And I was a little bit melancholy, being it was the end of my first coaching endeavour. I've really enjoyed coaching, playing around teaching the guys some skills, and just getting to know a group of boys who will be men in a few more years. Sure, I'll see them at school and we'll probably have a little season-ending wind-up, but it's done. It seems like a tidy little package on paper... a very clean beginning which is all wrapped up at a distinct end with a bow on the top.

Why doesn't it feel that tidy and distinct?

- T

Happy Halloween

Although I'm not a big dresser-upper, I do like learning about the history of holidays. Although I'm not sure whether or not the veracity of this site's information has been thoroughly checked and rechecked, have a look at the brief history of Halloween. Those Catholics really know how to steal a holiday! :)

http://www.history.com/minisites/halloween/viewPage?pageId=713

And here's a little Halloween poem I wrote... I'm not anti-Halloween, but since I didn't dress up today, I was being hassled by a number of people... So here you are...


To heck with all ye ghastly ghouls
Who prance around dressed up like fools
And bob for fruit and beg for treats
Never to prove thyself through feats.
A ding-dong here means fill the bag,
And a knock-knock says we'll play a gag.
So enjoy the ruckus and find my peeve
By playing the devil on All Hallow's Eve.

Back to work for me... all prep and no play make T a dull boy. But, dull I will remain for tonight! Ciao...

- T

Have I really been doing this for 2 months?

I think it really sunk in this morning. I'm sitting with my coffee in front of me, limited stress (I teach all day one day and have the next day to prep... it's the prep day), I just finished reading The G&M, and I had a moderately enjoyable sleep last night. Why did it sink in that I've been in the Okanagan for 2 months?? One word: weather.

So, it's bloody cold. Well, I guess it's not, really, considering southern Alberta is looking at temperatures in the negative teens WITHOUT the wind chill factor. However, let us recall that I'd been living in the temperate paradise known as Victoria for the past 3 years. People say that I'm from Alberta, so this whole cold/snow/wind thing shouldn't really affect me. And this even SEEMS like a plausible point. HOWEVER, it took me a total of 12 minutes to become acclimated to the west coast weather and Victoria only receives about 2 days of snow a year. Sure, the outlying areas might enjoy (or recoil in horror to) a bit more snow and maybe a touch of sleet and misery, but it's limited, especially when you don't venture outside of Victoria unless it's summertime or Christmas vacation. In other words, I'm a big wuss.

I haven't used that word in years. It just looks funny. WUSS. Is that even how you spell such a charming colloquialism?

Yes, I had my winter 3-in-1 style jacket one, as well as a warm toque and a sweater underneath all of this bulk. But I don't even have a pair of bloody mitts or long johns any more! So my skinny fingers were losing their feeling. Luckily, I was running a bit late to the bus today so I was doing my best power-walking impression to get to the bus on time. And this also helped to keep the blood moving in my lower extremedies. But it's still bloody cold. Frost. Frostbite. Wind chills. Negative temperatures. Idling cars. Lock de-icer. Frozen bits of breath in the air.

These things made me realize that I'm not in Victoria anymore, Toto. I'm in a new place with new challenges and something resembling a career. What the heck happened to the carefree days of travelling foreign continents and being a patron at a variety of nightclubs while working at another club? I shouldn't be surprised... it's been a long time coming. The grey hairs prove it. Sometimes it just hits you like a bag of bricks to the solar plexis.

- T

Yet another Sunday

And there's little to talk about.

I've just been musing a lot lately. Thinking about people in the past, what they may be doing now, what they think I'm up to... wondering how things would be if I made a different decision about travelling or moving to BC or even pursuing English as a degree. Who I would've met, how things would've changed.

It just seems like some days fly by, where moments stand still. I know that there is a far more complex explanation to Einstein's theory of relativity.... however, the analogy of a hot stove/burning hand and the time spent in the company of a beautiful woman makes perfect sense. Pain can be drawn out too, and a difficult moment can be made to last a lifetime if handled with narcissism or angst or impatience. And uneventful experiences can simply slip by, to be lost in some sort of subconscious abyss.

I've been thinking about this occupation of teaching a great deal lately as well. For instance, whether or not I'm cut out for it, the extensive number of skills and talents that need to along with it (in order to be successful), the dedication and skill it takes to be good at it, the fact that certain things are simply innate and others have to be practiced incessantly... the fact that it's exhausting, and rewarding, and stressful.

Still, I've been told a couple things that I seem to have forgotten since I've become so bogged down with prep and marking and prep and marking... that we're here for the students... to make them into better people, better readers/writers/feelers, into thinkers, into adults. And it's the students that we're doing this for. If you like being around them, then everything else will come. I'm hoping this is the case, because sometimes I just don't know if I have what it takes (organization, work ethic, etc.). I've also been told that the two hardest things to "learn" are rapport and classroom management. Although the latter of these two still needs some work, I'm doing okay in the first department. Now, I just have to learn how to teach.

But, I have the rest of my career to figure that out. Now I guess I should just learn how to deal with limited time and limited sleep. And what I'm going to do tomorrow for class.

Stealing from Riverbend's blog...

"I'll meet you 'round the bend my friend, where hearts can heal and souls can mend"

- T

My "I" Bag...

Over the summer, one of my education professors had our class do a project that she did with her high school students in English. The project was titled the "I" Bag. In it, we were expected to fill the bag with 5 things that mean something to us, whether that would be a keepsake from a trip, an old letter from a friend, a symbolic item used to represent you, a picture that means something, etc. It's a pretty personal project, but at the same time is one that really gets people to look at the things in their lives and discover the meaning. So, for my English class, I decided to assign this project for next week.

I think the project is contingent on the fact that the teacher needs to do one to as a sort of ice-breaking example. But in a way, it's a good way for people to get to know other people, and for the students to learn a little something about me. So, for the few people that read this thing, here's my "I" Bag (sorry, no pictures... maybe I'll post them soon)...

The first and most obvious item in the bag is a Canadian flag. I bought this flag (okay, maybe I stole it from the basement in my parents house) before making a four-month backpacking trip to Europe in 2002. After a year of university at the University of Lethbridge, I decided that I needed to do something that was unrelated to school. So, I took two years off from university, saved up about eight thousand dollars, and flew to Europe with a close friend, leaving my girlfriend and family at home. The names of every city and town I visited over the four months were recorded on this flag and recall a great variety of memories. It also represents the first moment in my life that I took my future into my own hands and did something I was truly passionate about. It was this decision that ultimately led me to Victoria and now here.

The second item in the "I" Bag is a t-shirt with the name "Mangrt" on it. This is actually the name of the highest paved road in Slovenia, located in Triglav National Park. Although I have not actually been on this road, this shirt was given to me by a distant relative that I met while I was on my trip. My grandparents immigrated to Canada from Slovenia in the late 1940's, and the fact that I made it to Slovenia (not speaking a word of Slovene and knowing little about what to expect) was a very important thing for me. I was very close with my grandparents, and have spent hours listening to stories from the "Old Country" that my grandmother so endearingly (and often tearfully) recalls. The shirt represents not only a part of my heritage, but provides me with a connection to my roots, my family, and the manifestation of my "pilgrimage". While I was there, I visited the homes in which my grandparents grew up (in Naklo and Skofia Loka), met many distant family members, and truly developed a sense of person to which I could connect my experiences.

The third item found in the bag is a picture of my wife, K, and myself. We were married just over a year ago, but she has been by my side as I chose to travel through Europe, when I took time off from school, when I moved to Victoria (even without her for a year!), and pursued my education and my love of literature. She's the most important person in my life, and challenges me daily to be a better person.

The fourth item is a small keychain bearing the logo of the AVA (Alberta Volleyball Association). This represents both my love of sports (particularly volleyball), as well as my connection to Alberta, where I spent the first 20 of 24 years in my life. I received this keychain about 8 years ago while playing competitive club volleyball for the Lethbridge Volleyball Club. It also reminds me of my family... particularly my brother, who I've played with on numerous occasions and who is going to be my coaching mentor now that I'm coaching a team at my host school.

The final item is a pen. It may seem banal, but connects me to my love of literature and my need to write as a way of dealing with the world... my catharsis, if you will. Through my teens and to now, I've always turned to pen and paper to deal with emotions and work out ways to interact with the world. Likewise, it represents my interest in learning about a variety of things, as well as my love for reading. There is a Biblical Proverb that reads, "It is the will of God to conceal a matter, but the glory of Kings to search out a matter". This is indicative of my pursuit of knowledge and self, and is very much a mantra that I attempt to live by.

Sunday eve...

... and I just finished watching "Dead Poet's Society". It's been one of my favorite movies for years... probably since the first time I saw in, I think, 11th grade. I hadn't seen it in years. I actually wrote my English diploma exam on it in 12th grade, and received a perfect mark of 100%. It's kind-of a claim to fame for me, as there were only like 2 others in my grad class of 185 to do it... my best friend (also our valedictorian) and a girl who received the second or third highest grade in English in our school. She was actually a talented writer, and I acted in our senior year musical with her... however, she's one of the few people from my grad class that has passed away since high school. She died in a car accident on her way home one day, and was the one that I "saw" when I was in Belfast over east weekend in 2002. It was her ghost that I tell people I saw. To this day I find it strange that I saw someone who looked exactly like her who seemed to disappear in the crowd while I was walking down the street, thousands of miles from home on a religious holiday.

When I have memories like these, I think and wonder how I'm as lucky as I am. All the time, I hear about people who have had close friends pass away in car accidents, or pass away from suicide, or tragic illnesses. And then there's me. I've had 2 great-grandparents pass on... also the parent of one of my friends a few years ago. And then my acquaintance A.Y. in the car accident after high school. There were also a couple of students from my high school who passed away while I was still a student there, but I didn't really know them. I just think of how lucky I've been... no tragedies... no surprise deaths (beyond A.Y.). I was really sad to see my great-grandparents pass on, but it was as if they were managable, since both were very sick and both had the chance to live full lives. Few people today have even had the chance to meet their great-grandparents, or even grandparents for that matter. And I still have my great-grandpa around. Funny story... when K and I sent out invitations for the wedding last year, he was the first one to RSVP. He phoned my in-laws (who were receiving all the RSVP's) and said, "Hello! This is Howard calling! I'm T's great-grandfather! I just want to tell you that I'm coming to the wedding for T and K!". He also mentioned that he was going to be the oldest one there at 91 years old. I don't think he knew that my grandpa on my dad's side was the same age (within a few months)... Still, I think of how I have a number of relatives that have lived into their 80's and 90's, and how few of my friends/acquaintances/relatives have passed on. I've lived a charmed life for these reasons. And for many more. I won't bore you with all the details today, but it's definitely a charmed life. However, I have my issues like anyone else.

K and I were also talking last night about some things. I was asked if I was interested in helping coach a city Club Volleyball team in the new year. I mentioned that I didn't have my Level 1 certification, and T.S., the guy that runs the club and coaches one of the high school teams we play against, said that they would pay for the clinic to get certified. Definitely flattering... So I brought it up with K to see what she thought.

It's funny where the conversation went from here. She came out and told me that I better get my shit together before I think of committing myself to anything else. This volleyball season has definitely made me tired, and I'm often scrambling to get things done. The thing is, she wasn't saying it out of bitterness... she really has faith that I can do a lot more than I ever thought. I don't think I ever realized was how much faith she had in me. It's amazing... she really believes that I can do a world of things that I don't even think I can do myself. Throughout my life, people have told me that I can do a lot of things. The problem is, I really don't believe that I can do them half the time myself. I'm insecure and I second-guess myself every chance I get. I put up a facade of having everything under control... in many cases it's just an act I use to get by.

I also frustrate her with my lack of organization. Although I know I'm absent-minded and disorganized, I really always thought that I couldn't help this... that it is just how I am, and that's how I work. She told me that I should only commit to the coaching if I could get everything organized and make sure I had everything under control for the next term (where I go up to teaching a 75% load). She made it clear that there were a lot of people depending on me... not just her and us as a unit, but my students as well. At first, I was somewhat upset, that she literally told me to get my crap in line before I over-commit myself. She also came out and told me that she thought I blame too much on the fact that I'm absent-minded.

Now, it sounds somewhat harsh. But she has a point. I do everything I can to excuse my failings and my limitations because I hate living with the fact that I'm not good at something. This is part of the reason why I hate skating and avoid swimming... I'd rather stick with things that I'm comfortable doing. This goes for my absent-mindedness and my lack of organization... I've tricked myself into believing that I can't do anything about it, so I just roll with it and refuse to think about the fact that I could probably do something to fix it, or at least limit the effects of it. How to do this? I'm not certain.

I think that a lot of people do this... refuse to acknowledge their limitations and blame a whole world of things on their weaknesses. I'm not innocent. Actually, I'm probably more guilty than most. I know my weaknesses, but I don't confront them or try to do anything to fix them. Part of the reason for this is that I wouldn't know where to start. Another is simply the discomfort of challenging my demons and vanquishing them. I've always loved the story of a hero... however, I don't think I have the courage to be one myself.

I guess I should start listening to the romantic message of Dead Poet's Society...

"Gather ye rosebuds while ye may,
Old Time is still a-flying:
And this same flower that smiles to-day
To-morrow will be dying."
- R. Herrick

- T

The Absent-Minded Professor

Yep, you guessed it... that's me. Particularly when I haven't been sleeping terribly well.

I had a stack of marking that I was planning to do last night which I THOUGHT I had in one of my school bags. I went to organize my binders and my notes and take out this ugly stack of marking when I realized that it wasn't in either of my bags. I looked in the spare room (a.k.a. my office) and didn't see it. I then got really frustrated and thought that I left it all at school.

I then showed up at school this morning and realized that, WAIT! It wasn't here either! I checked my work station in our staff prep room, and there was nothing. I then checked my classrooms and again... nothing. So I start to freak out. Here I am, pursuing my career and trying to prove to my occupational peers that I'm a reasonably responsible adult who has his crap together and knows how important things like student unit tests should NEVER be lost. Oh, what a facade I'm carrying on! Needless to say, I could feel an influx of stomach acid rising in my gut, so much so that while looking for this big pile of marking, I'm also trying to locate my industrial-sized container of Tums.

Finally after having no luck, I call home. K's my saviour, since she's always the one who receives those frantic 8:15am calls about the fact that I lost something or misplaced something or forgot something. Sure enough, within 15 seconds of calling her and listening to me swearing like a sailor about how much of a dumbass I am, she found the stack sitting (I'm not even lying) right on my office desk. I had taken it home two nights ago and neglected to bring it back yesterday, even though I thought I had everything when I left for school.

Another brief story to reinforce the fact that I'm a little thick (in the head more than the waist) took place in my social class... I told the class about a current events assignment that I wanted them to do when I was in the class last week. This week, I anticipated there would be some questions so I made sure I had a freshly typed-up assignment ready to go for them in case they were a little confused of my explanation last week. So yesterday, before class, I look around for this awesomely fun sheet (it was called The Barn Burnin' Current Events Smackdown... I was a little proud of it!) to hand out. Could I find it? If you answered yes, you're obviously skimming a little too much of this rant! So, in my haste to get to class on time, I quickly type up a terrible remake of the assignment to hand out. No big deal.

However, as I was organizing my notes/binders last night, what did I come across? You probably guessed it... my Barn Burnin' Current Events Smackdown sheet. Yes, I'm thick. It was right in the middle of my Current Events section of my teaching binder. I mentioned Jeff Foxworthy a week or two ago. He would've handed me my "Stupid" sign and the crowd would've laughed heartily.

- T

Fatigue, Stress, and anxiety... I love this job...

Did the title come off as sarcastic? It was supposed to be... well, maybe just a bit. Not totally though. Just a touch.

This new life and career pursuit has set off a couple nights of restless partial insomnia, keeping me dreaming about the students in my class having it out for me and the fact that I feel like I'm treading water some days. I feel that everyone else has everything under control and I'm doing this miserable job at times. Even though I know thats not the case (at least, not all the time), it still doesn't prevent the panic-stricken rush of trying to have photocopies together and ready to go and prepared before you enter the fray at 8:59:59a.m. Sure, I'm at the school an hour before the students walk into the classroom, but every minute counts, especially when you're dragging your ass to begin with.

I spent the day marking English exams with other teachers from the district. We did a district-wide, formative test assessment in all of the English classes in the district as a way of guaging where the students were, what needed work, and what teachers could focus on. They were marked collectively by our group as a way of keeping the marks honest and indulging a little bit in the process of what it's like to mark provincial exams at the end of the term.

I thought it was going to be boring, but it was actually somewhat enjoyable. I'm pretty good at just being on my own, so sitting down in a big room with a stack of marking and little stress about the results made for an enjoyable day. My fellow markers were supportive, some of the papers were thoroughly entertaining (one kid said that cell phone waves exploded gas stations, another said they're good to prevent kidnappings, and another said that they were vital in case Brad Pitt was on the side of the road looking for a date!), and we receieved a free lunch. Those of you who know me well know that I'm easy to bribe... just give me free stuff, particularly food. What can I say... I'm a bit of a food floosy.

However, I must end the rant here because I have a boatload of work to go before I'm allowed to let my head hit the pillow. 5:56am comes early when the wife is rolling you out of bed so she can sleep for a few more minutes while I'm in the shower. Yet, this is a wonderful thing... I'm one of those people who had to put the alarm across the room just so I would have to physically get up and out of bed to turn off the blaring hair metal, and even that doesn't prevent a return to the warm sheets that call my name so softly. It's like a hotel wake up call, only better. Minus the bruised hips from the fall off the bed.

- T

Tag... pass it on

Ms. Gough tagged me, so I guess that makes me "it"... temporarily, anyway...

1. One book that changed my life:
Where to begin. I'm one of those people who is highly influenced by words.... powerful words, meaningful words, emotion-inducing-beautiful words, stern words.

I too, was often moved by words at a younger age, more than now, but I still get right into the fiction I read in a big way. I think when I was younger, a few books had major impacts on me. Orwell's 1984 was a big one inspiring my cynical political paranoia stage that I didn't indulge in for long but went through all the same. Umm... Life After God by Douglas Coupland was another one that a good friend turned me onto (after I'd actually read Shampoo Planet by the same author, which has it's own little story that I may tell later). Poisonwood Bible and a book of Kingsolver's essays was pretty important to me as well. How about... um.... oh! C.S. Lewis and Mere Christianity. That was a big one that I still quote to this day... "For the longest way 'round is the shortest way home". He did some pretty good things with words and ideas, even though I don't think his arguments are as irrefutable as he thought. I guess the last one would be "No One Here Gets Out Alive"... the Jim Morrison biography done by his old manager. I didn't ever get into The Doors music, but that was a damn fine book.

2. One book that I've read more than once:
Life After God has been one I've gone through at least a couple of times. I've reread Thomas King's collection of stories, "One Good Story, That One", as well as his non-fiction Massey lecture series collection called "The Truth About Stories", which I'll always love. I can't get his words out of my head when thinking about fiction... "... Just don't say that you haven't heard [the story]... you've heard it now". Some other short stories I can read and reread and not get bored... Orwell's "Shooting an Elephant" or Valgardson's "Identities" and a host of others. And lots of E.A. Poe and Nathanial Hawthorne. Lucky for me, I've taken on a career where I can actually teach these texts to students and hopefully inspire a love for words in them that I've acquired. Oh, and I've definitely read the Pelican Brief (Grisham) a couple of times... I used to be a big fan until I realized that his books are all the same with different court cases and character names. For the most part anyway... :)

3. One book I'd want on a desert island:
Uh... can I ask for two? I'm one of those people who needs balance. I'd say something along the lines of "Poisonwood Bible", paired with something more intensely cynical like "A Brave New World" or some Rushdie. Getting down to one would be tough... maybe even a classic like The Odyssey or The Iliad, since you can spend hours on that stuff and always find something new at a different time of day or a different mood. These classics also have heroism, deceit, mayhem, disasters, love stories, etc. The whole kit'n'kaboodle. Not really sure which part is the kit and which is the kaboodle, but if it involves it all, I'd be happy.

4. One book that made me laugh:
The first one that takes the cake is "Why I Hate Canadians" by Will Ferguson. I've already mentioned my somewhat obsessive love for this man, but I'll state it again. The guy is freakin' hilarious. I can't wait to get a hold of "Bastards and Boneheads" or his anthology of Canadian humour. Another good one is Stephen Leacock's "Sunshine Sketches of a Small Town" or "Literary Lapses".

5. One book that made me cry:
Um... I'm not a big crier in books... movies yes, commercials and TV ads, sometimes... but not usually books. I'd say Kingsolver's books would probably come close (Poisonwood Bible, Prodigal Summer". So would "White Oleander", which I still remember quite well.

6. One book that I wish had been written:
I have to mimic Ms. Gough and say my own. I've always had lofty ambitions of doing some serious writing, even though I'm pretty sure I'm a complete hack in every sense of the word. And I'm definitely not that interesting. It seems like many of the great writers have led tough lives or maintain a lot of existential angst, but other than my not-so-frequent middle-child-syndrome, I think I've lead a pretty uneventful and enjoyable life.

7. One book that I wish had never been written:
I read it all the way through while I was in Europe. Now, I should put up a disclaimer here, because some people have told me that, as an educated person in the area of literature, I should not hate this book. But here it is: "Of Human Bondage" by W.S. Maugham. It darn near killed me while I was on the train, but I'm one of those stubborn people who can't just leave it if it's not enjoyable... I have to get through it. I don't even remember it, but I remember the feeling of sheer and utter relief when I was done. I almost want to go and reread it in hopes of salvaging it from this very list. But for now, it should be burned during a camping trip, so it had the good use of contributing to my golden-brown-marshmellow roasting.

8. One book that I am currently reading:
Well, the grade 10 history text that our school provides... umm.... I'm STILL reading Rushdie's Shalimar the Clown... it's wonderful, but I'm terrible at making time to read. When I'm tired, I watch TV, not dive into dense, intense prose.

9. One book I've been meaning to read:
This would take hours... for starters, Tristam Shandy, which my uncle from Victoria gave me 3 years ago and I still haven't read... Teacher Man by Frank McCourt, Dante and Milton (everything and anything, because it's important), The Satanic Verses (since it's so controversial and another important read), some T.S. Eliot, more Vonnegut, the Qur'an, The Handmaid's Tale, Oryx and Crake... okay, I'll leave the list here... I could go on for decades.

10. Tagging two people to continue this thang:
I'd have to say Miss J.G. and Mr. K.S., since they're my other bloggers in crime.

Tag, you're it!

- T

Rewards and feelings of failure

I think the rest of my weeks at school are going to be long. Some = REAL long.

I taught in 2 of my classes today for the first time, back to back. I was scrambling at lunch to make sure I had enough information to get through the classes, and my afternoon class was definitely not in the mood to sit and play the "quiet" game. And then this was followed by volleyball after school, so by the time I got to sit down, it was nearly 6:00. And I didn't get a thing done after that, minus the enjoyment of some CSI and brown, hoppy-flavoured soda.

The classes that I'm teaching can be really rewarding. There are a lot of really pleasant, fun kids who seem like they want to be there and are actually putting in some effort. It's not even very exhausting being in front of them. They had an assignment to do some 1940's style radio plays of their own (after reading one in class), and did a really good job on them for the most part. Very rewarding.

Likewise, my volleyball guys are really coming around. They're working harder, their attitudes are better, and it's really nice to see the guys smiling in practice that isn't always easy or fun. Also rewarding.

Sometimes this isn't always the case. Sometimes students will try to talk through you and over you and behind you, which is uber frustrating. Punishments may work, but they may just be brushed off. And sometimes it's a whole bunch rather than one or two.... definitely hard to deal with... I guess this is what they mean when they tell you about the importance of classroom management and how it's one of the toughest things to learn.

There is a whole world of people involved in this process of conversation and education, and it's hard keeping track of who to talk to and what to say and how to deal with all sorts of different people. Parents, sponsor teachers, administration, university advisors, other staff, students, PAC members, etc. It's a steep learning curve for us young'uns, so I guess I just have to stay the course and keep my caffeine at optimum levels.

Between the fact that I was in class all day and didn't have time to eat lunch and had volleyball until late, I was a tired puppy. Should be a fun career! :)

Okay, enough ranting. I'll post something else on the weekend. Ciao all...

- T

I think I may be a control freak...

I spend time in practice, and I nearly go bananas. I really don't like to be interrupted, and sometimes, even oftentimes, this happens. Some talk right through explanations, have trouble following directions, and just tend to ignore me at a variety of points. It kinda makes me want to blow my top. So what happens? They run. Laps, lines, suicides, and the like. Then they get another chance. Blow it? They run again. "Can we do jump serves coach?" Not a chance. They do it anyway? They run. "This drill is stupid" they say.... run again. One thing I have to remember: kids are there to have fun while learning. I think I sometimes lose this perspective when I'm struggling to get them to work hard. I don't want to be a tyrant, but I still think that my other coach and I need to maintain our control over everyone.

Classes can go this way too... I've been talking to my own sponsor teachers and other teachers about what to do about this (interruptions and the like), and they all have their own management techniques. It's a little overwhelming, to be honest, trying to figure out who I am and how I can carry this out. But I guess I just have to learn how to control interruptions and distractions and other such things my own way while following school policy. I knew from the beginning that this was going to be how it was... I knew I was going to struggle with classroom management. I just didn't think it would keep me up at night and frustrate me like it sometimes does. I guess I know how my parents felt when I was lazy or disrespectful as a kid. Karma's no fun when it's whoopin' your behind.

I guess you really have to put out small fires before a big one erupts. "If you give them an inch...". I give people chances in every aspect of my life, but I still have a backbone, and I'm not afraid to show it.

- T

Rain outside my window...

... tells me that my summer's fading away. And this new place I'm in is getting more and more real every single day.

I'm definitely the type of person who builds certain life events up in my head until they're overwhelming, only to discover that the event in question wasn't as monumental as it seemed. I know I touched on this during the previous post, but I figured that since I run the show around here, I should just keep banging the gong about it continuously.

On a completely different note, one of my sponsor teachers and I have been creating little games in class when we do attendance so we can remember student names a little bit better. We've covered things like "what did you do over the weekend" or, "what is your favorite meal". I'm the first one to admit that it's totally cheesy, but it is definitely helpful when trying to remember the names of 30 Grade 9 kids. The last day we did one on pet peeves. Some of them were a little strange, others were funny, but most were typical. My favorites, though, are always the most random ones. Like feet. Some people (mostly girls, I've found) hate feet... everything about feet. The look, smell, feel, etc. EVERYTHING. And this seems like the strangest thing ever. I dated a girl before K and I were together who hated feet so much that she actually tattooed her foot with little stars and things (small and tasteful, of course) to make them less revolting.

My sponsor teacher's peeve was smelly people. After admitting this, she entered into a long tirade about a triathalon she was participating in and this smelly guy on the bike course with her... just to avoid being behind him, she would speed up every time he tried to pass. I think she scored a personal best because of it. Seems strange that a little BO would push you to accidentally strive for excellence. Sort of makes me wonder if guys like Lance Armstrong had peeves that pushed them on to success.

I try to think about mine and I come up with the standards... bad drivers, line jumpers while waiting for tickets for a concert/show, movie talkers in theatres, and generally stupid people. Now, the last category can include most (if not all) of the previous 4 categories, but can also be applied to a host of other groups. I won't go into detail, but there's definitely no shortage of boneheads around. And a broad, all-encompassing category is necessary to include these goof-offs. Others to enter this category are those who talk about something they know nothing about, buffoons at a restaurant that treat their server like a whipping boy, and stereotypical North American travellers who go abroad and ask people from a non-English-speaking country, "Do ya'll speak English? ENG-LISH? DO YOU SPEAKY ENGLISH??" That really gets my goat, and really takes the cake... idiots thinking that saying it: a) louder b) slower c) with an accent will get them the response they want. I think Jeff Foxworthy would respond to them by handing them a sign that reads "Stupid", while stating, "Here's your sign".

Enough boringness for tonight... still have some stuff to do for class tomorrow, and knowing me, if I don't do it now, I'll be asking for an extension. That's just the way I roll :)

- T

Survival of week #1

It wasn't nearly as monumental as one may assume.

I stepped into my classroom as an actual teacher (or student teacher, anyway) for the first time this week. Over the past weeks and months, I had built it up in my head as something massive to fear and be anxious about. But, it was not nearly as busy/stressful as I thought... "This is the way the [week] ends, not with a bang but a whimper". I'm still unsure as to whether I'm anxious about getting my hands dirty and getting to the activities and making plans and marking papers, or if I should simply be happy that I've got time to relax right now and take my time getting ready for the hellish schedule that is to come.

The week more or less consisted of me getting my bearings at the school. Tuesday started with a staff meeting at 7:30am. I had shown up on the previous Friday to roam around and get some texts from the school... I would have totally missed our staff meeting and newbie orientation if I hadn't asked. I'm glad I emailed the other two interns to let them know the deal. After that, the first couple days were dedicated to getting class schedules sorted out for teachers and students alike, getting coaching assignments handed out, and mainly just getting to know the place and people that I would be hanging around for the next 10 months. It was good... pretty low stress, everyone seemed welcoming and friendly, and there were definitely a couple people who were excited about the fact that I'm taking on the role of co-coach for the Boys Volleyball team.

The main problem I found is this... sitting in a classroom without being in charge of it while someone else is teaching is NOT that much fun. Sure, it takes away the stress of being responsible for everything myself. However, after two days of watching my two sponsor teachers in action, I began to feel like I needed to just take the reigns and start doing my own thing. Unfortunately, that moment doesn't take place until the end of the month, so I guess the next couple weeks will be a test in patience (alongside learning the names of 40-50 staff members and about 70 students/players). They're both great though, so I'm sure I'll survive.

I'm sure that as the students get settled in and we all get used to the fact that summer is on the way out, things will sort themselves out. I'm also hoping that our staff wine tasting will help this along. And realistically, I've got plenty on my plate this week... night class tomorrow, Tuesday night V-ball tryouts, Wednesday night coaching meeting, Thursday retreat (with wine!!), Friday practice, Saturday University class.... the list goes on, so I guess I should just concentrate on getting some sleep and getting ready for what this new world is going to throw at me. C'est la vie.

- T

Catharsis

I realized that after my 1/2 hour yelling match with Telus' terrible CS reps, and writing about it on here, I was able to calm down through the process of yelling, writing, and watching mindless TV for 20 minutes. I calmed down a bit, anyway. I finally talked to the manager, and although I'm still getting screwed, it's not nearly as bad as it was before. I got it out of my system though, and it's probably good that it happened before I arrived at school to deal with 15 year olds all day.

Speaking of which, I'm officially a student teacher. I haven't started any of the actual teaching stuff yet, but I've already begun my prep, met a tonne of teachers, been invited to the welcome back socials, figured out when ball tryouts are (I'll be coaching), and claimed the beautiful yellow and brown plaid couch that resides in the humanities department prep room as my own. Although my classes changed completely yet again (this is round number 3), I've got the schedule worked out, at least until February. I'm teaching one English class and one Socials class. Still, it's looking like I'm settling in there tolerably well, and so far I haven't alienated anyone. I guess you actually have to DO something or say something beyond "Yes, I did an English degree on the coast before coming into the program... no, not from B.C.... I'm an Alberta boy... my wife's looking for work right now, and she's really confident about finding something right away... I'm really excited about being at this school" before you alienate anyone.

The house is mostly unpacked, my internet and phone are hooked up, I went for a run yesterday for the first time in weeks, and it's been over 30 degrees all week. I guess I really don't have too much to complain about.

- T

ARGHHHH!!! TELUS!!!

Here's a story to help you wrap your head around the fact that THINGS ARE NEVER FREE when it's comes to people trying to snag your business!

I signed up for Telus internet last year because they were offering a free IPod Shuffle if you signed a 2-year contract. Before signing this contract, I mentioned that I was potentially moving the following year to Kelowna and asked if the switch-over would be a problem. They assured me that there would be no problems, so I signed up and got my IPod.

I phoned around last week to get all my bills switched to my new address. Telus included, so we wouldn't lose track of any of them. There were no issues.

So I try to install my setup CD for my telus internet again so it would automatically reset my internet address, and immediately encountered problems. I called the C.S. line and found out from C.S. Person #1 that the Kelowna area had NO available ports for an internet hookup. AFter discussing the problem with #1 (being offered dial-up, which wasn't going to happen), he advised me to find another provider and cancel my account with them if I found one. So I went out to Shaw, got an amazing internet/cable deal for students (ask for it if you're still in Uni!!!), came back to the house and called Telus to tell them that I found other services and that they would have to cancel my contract.

I was then informed that I would be charged $120 for my contract cancellation. So I told them that it was THEIR fault that the contract was being cancelled and that I wasn't paying a fee for THEM defaulting on the contract. They tried to tell me that the actual cancellation fee was $240 and that they were discounting that fee by half because it was their fault, but since they sent me the gift (IPod), I would be charged for that gift and this was standard policy and it didn't matter WHO defaulted on the contract! Needless to say, I started getting a little upset.

After telling the girl that such a policy was absurd and that I wasn't paying it, she tried to tell me that the "gift" was worth $300!!! I came back and told her it was worth $80, and she tried to tell me I'm wrong. I proceeded to call her on it, since you can get a brand new Shuffle for $79! I definitely called her a liar and told her that she had no idea what the hell she was talking about. I then told them I would just send back the IPod because I didn't care that much about it and they could have their bloody gift back. THEN, she told me that they can't take them back because of CRTC regulations! Obviously B.S. She also kept repeating the phrase "We gave you a free gift"... my reply was, "If it's FREE, then I DON'T PAY FOR IT! By making me PAY the $120 fee, I was PAYING FOR IT! And that was unacceptable." So I told her to credit my account another way and she told me that there was no way to do that. I then asked to talk to her Manager and she told me that she had talked to her manager and she said the same thing. I asked again, and suddenly the manager was nowhere to be found. I then told her that I wasn't satisfied and wasn't paying anything and that her manager could call me. She said that she would in 24-48 hours, so I left the house for a bit to cool off. The manager called back and left a message for me to call her long distance (knowing that I had cancelled my long distance and went with another carrier), or that she would call me back Tuesday. She's going to have to call Tuesday, because she's the one picking up any costs for that phone call.

T's not happy, and I do feel bad about yelling at the last C.S. agent I talked to, but two things they should never do to me: lie to me, and try to rip me off. I may get screwed once in a while, but I'll kick up a fuss if I ever figure out someone's trying to do it. THe moral of this story is that nothing's free. DON'T GET SCREWED BY TELUS!!!!

- T

Goodbye home, hello home

It's the same area code. The same province. Even the apartment layout is pretty similar. But it's a town of strangers. Funny enough, I feel relatively at home here.

Kelowna's a cute little city. Lots to do, beautiful scenery, and a new life that's starting for K and I, a little closer to the cities we used to call home back in Alberta. K's dad came out to help us move and drive the U-Haul over the rain-covered Coquihalla, after we had said goodbye to friends, family, and the beautiful coast that we called home for the past few years. It fit me like a worn in pair of shoes that you don't want to throw away. But maybe these new shoes will be alright after some wear and tear.

K was just napping on the couch with me a few minutes ago, and now she's puttering away in the kitchen getting some dessert ready for later tonight. We took a short drive up to Kalamalka Lake earlier this afternoon, got some fresh fruits and veggies at a small store off the lake, and came back into Kelowna for lunch here at the new apartment that has officially been unpacked and put away. We still need some things, and we haven't had the opportunity to establish our own smells and sounds, but it's coming along. We have more space, the building is somewhat young, and K loves it. She was like a kid again at the lake, where she spent at least a weel nearly every summer of her childhood. Her aunt brought over dinner and some fresh fruit and veggies from their garden to help us get settled in before we had the chance to hit up the grocery store. It's 30 degrees and sunny and the surrounding lakes shine a brilliant green in the afternoon. Our apartment is on a huge park. Maybe things aren't so bad around these parts.

I even had the chance to meet a couple more teachers and touch base with the head volleyball coach that I'll be kinda-sorta working with over the next few months. I have textbooks in hand, and maybe, just maybe, I'll be a great teacher like I'm hoping. I have no doubt that there's a tonne of work ahead, but it's what I've been working toward the past few years. Now I guess it's time to embrace it. And I can already smell the smell of peach crisp browning in the oven. I'll say it again... maybe things aren't so bad around these parts.

- T