Lag

I've been up since before 5am as my body/brain adjust to the trip across the Pacific. I'm also sans-voice after picking up a bug on either the night bus back to Kunming or one of the many flights I've been  on in the past 10 days. And if you know me at all, you know that my particular personality doesn't do so well without a voice. And now that I'm back home, all I want to do is see people and visit. But I'm mute. So that makes it difficult.

I'm home, but not "home", per se. I'm staying with relatives back on the west coast of Canada, and although the city is just as comforting as ever, I no longer have my own place and will be couch-hopping for the next 6 weeks. I'm also not one who's good at being fussed over. And my relatives? They love to fuss. It's fun and endearing, but I never know how to act... I know they're just looking to take care of me, especially with my cough and lack of functional vocal output. But it's not a role I'm particularly strong in. Regardless, it's nice to be back.

It's strange. The homecoming. Like I'm in between homes and cultures. One of my new friends who I met in Yunnan discussed this on her blog before... the living in between cultures. Now, I know I'm not experiencing the phenomenon to that extent, but I do feel slightly homeless. Staying with relatives, friends, family. But never just on my own. No place that I can own and have to myself (even though I'm at my aunt's place right now and they're at work). It's just not the same. But that's okay... I'm still just happy to be able to see everyone.

This summer is going to be full of car trips and friends and family and (I hope) lots of coffee and beer and running and food. I was awake by about 4:15am yesterday morning (again, the jetlag), so I strapped on my shoes first thing in the morn and popped out for about 40 minutes in the quiet of the sunrise which was just starting to shine over the city. What an amazing feeling. The air was simply delicious (something I've never really noticed before, even if it has been sweet or delightful), and although I feel pretty out of shape, it was amazing to get out there to enjoy the morning. It almost makes me understand while people go out at that ridiculously early hour. The mountains across the water were towering and bright, the streets were silent, and the beach was so peaceful. I saw more deer than people, and even though I was cramping up and struggling at times, it was amazing to get out there.

The end of the time in China was so much fun. Yunnan was unbelievable and met some absolutely unforgettable people. I'm already trying to figure out if I can make it back again next year. I'd love to do more hiking and adventuring through the areas around Tiger Leaping and Shangrila, but time will tell if it happens for next year. Maybe a 3rd year will have to happen. Who knows? I've officially decided that it's pretty exciting that I only know what my life will look like for one more year... the unknown beyond that is just a thrilling collection of potential.

For now, though, I need to get the rest of my Yunnan stories written and maybe add some pictures to the blog. Make sure you touch base with me if you're in western Canada and want to hang. Much love from the democratic side of the Pacific.

T