Goodbyes

I lost one of the great partiarchs of my family. After 92 years, my great grandfather passed away on August 25th at a hospice in Calgary. Only about two years ago, this slim but spry old guy was golfing nine holes at a course in Calgary where he was a member for over fifty years. A self-made entrepreneur and regular Mr. Fix-It, he definitely lived a full life after growing up during the Great Depression and living through all the problems of the twentieth century. Providing a biography of his life, however, does little to celebrate the man that I knew.

To be honest, I didn't know my great-grandfather well. Our relationship was based on my eavesdropping as a child as the adults sat around the Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner table and talked money, politics, work, golf, and life in general. He used to tell me long-winded stories about times passed, while providing some good laughs and advice as well. Mainly, his forte with us was a host of cheesy jokes which I always found funny. He was a charming soul who didn't always say the right thing... when you're in your eighties and nineties, you lived through a time without the hassles of political correctness and, sometimes, even simple tact. My brother and I both recall being offended at some of his more careless comments, which were quickly forgiven when we considered the source. He'd probably put in his time being polite for the first eight decades he was around.

Since my siblings and I were always pretty active kids who were involved in sports and school, we only really saw him and my great grandmother (who passed away in 2002), when we travelled north to Calgary for major family get-togethers like Christmas. Two things you could always count on: that his pants were just slightly too short, and there would be the presence of plaid when we arrived to visit. I still recall to this day seeing him decked out in a plaid sweater, plaid pants, plaid socks and a plaid hat. The only problem with the outfit was the fact that not a single garment featured the same pattern or colour. It was like a bag of M&M's exploded in his closet, the colours attaching themselves to any tartan pattern they could find.

Some of the more recent memories of my great-grandfather are from about two years ago... after K and I were engaged, we sent out invitations for the wedding the following fall. The same day he received his invitation, he was on the phone to my mother-in-law to RSVP. "Hi there! This is H.M. calling to RSVP for the T.M. and K.I. wedding!" My mother-in-law (V) was surprised at how quickly he was responding... she hadn't even received her invite in the mail. After taking a moment to figure out who exactly he was, he was pretty excited to explain that he'd be the oldest person at the event. V still laughs to this day about it today. He also showed up to the wedding in a light tan plaid suit which featured, of course, pants that were just slightly shorter than they should've been.

At the start of August, K and I went back to Alberta for a family reunion (K's side) before heading south to Montana to see my parents, my sister and her fiance. Before leaving, we had heard that great-grandpa wasn't supposed to make it to the weekend, but luckily, we made it to Calgary and he was still well enough to visit. We went to the home he was living in, and stayed to chat with him for about an hour. A stiff handshake and the exclaimation that he obviously was hosting the party room in the building was more or less the last memory I have of him. I'll always remember the spirit of him in these ways... always cheerful and never ready to just fade away. I was lucky enough to provide a dedication at his memorial service last week, so I'll post that shortly.

The other goodbye I had to make recently was to my dog, Tobi. After about 15 years, she was definitely old and sick and was probably ready to go. She'll be missed.

In memoriam.

- T