So many things...

Life is sometimes (often?) overwhelming. It seems like I'm just being drilled with a million things at once right now, and I don't know where to put all of this emotional stress and energy. Just when I thought I could take my mind off work, I have a new job and a new location to worry about, and new employers and co-workers to please. I'm back in a town that I grew to call home, but after two years of being away, it's seems slightly strange... foreign. And I know I'm only here for 6 weeks or so, but it doesn't change the feeling that everything is just a bit foreign and although the streets still seem familiar, I feel like a sad nomad without a home.

And maintaining the sensation that nothing is solid or founded in stone, the rock of my paternal family has passed on. At 93 (0r 94?) years of age, my father's father, my grandfather, Joe Mrak has passed awau. I rationally understand that he was ready to go and he lived a good life so there's little to mourn, but knowing that he's gone is just another crack in the foundation of my world. Trying to talk to my dad over the phone from 500 miles away is even harder... how can I be strong when the superman of my world has been brought to sadness and tears?

Still, I remain here, looking out on the ocean, apart from my family, my wife, and the things I know so well... alone to deal with the world as it stands. When faced with everything uncertain, I just keep walking. Sometimes I get the feeling that if I stop, I won't want to start walking again... walking is sometimes the hardest thing to begin. So I simply don't stop. I don't often think of destinations... just motion.

T