The finish line and other such nonsense

I'll be completing one of my classes as of tomorrow. TOMORROW! I'm ending a unit with a research project and a unit test, and other than the marking that will accompany said test/project, I'll be done that class. So on Friday, I'll be down to two classes, one each day.

Then, next Thursday I'll be dropping another class, which means that I will only have one class remaining to take care of from that point foward (for the last 6 weeks until exams, so realistically I'll only have approximately 12 classes remaining that I'll be responsible for until the end of the term/exams week). And then the real challenge begins... getting me a job somewhere!

Over the past few days, I've come to realize that in all the stress, anxiety, and pressure I've had to deal with, that I made this choice for a reason. I didn't think I'd be the one to lose sight of it, but I really did. I have always wanted to inspire a love of literature in others, but over the past few weeks/months, I've lost sight of that. I was talking with two of my students last night and I mentioned that I didn't dislike any of the students in the class. Sure, I've disliked their actions from time to time, but not them personally. I've even thought to myself how they act like this or like that (not in a positive way) and how frustrating it can be. But when I take some time to look back on it, I really do enjoy being here. Some of it is ego... I do enjoy being in front of people (I'm surprised I didn't get more involved in theatre), but a good part of it is my sincere enjoyment with these young adults. They're intriguing, they're interesting, they're sometimes unpredictable, they're unruly, they're charming, they're sometimes a walking headache. Still, I see these students in the hallway or in my class or at a tutorial and I think that I'm pretty lucky that I get to experience all of this. Teaching is definitely not for the faint of heart. All jobs have responsibilities, but there's few that assume the responsibility for the lives of 30 minors... and not simply their lives, but their moral, emotional and intellectual development. If that's not overwhelming, I don't know what is.

My goal for these next 8 weeks: to find a kernal of the passion that I had when I walked into this school, and to do my best to understand these people that are forced to look at me for guidance, for leadership, and for development. I sometimes forget what my role is. I can only hope that if I can come to regain an understanding of what the role is supposed to be, than I can do something to win over those who are uninterested and lacking motivation. How? That is TBA...

- T