I absolutely despise my shortcomings. I think the worst part, however, is the fact that while I'm indulging in these shortcomings, I'm completely unaware of, or completely unwilling to change, said faults. One of these things is talking too much (surprised, anyone?). Another is a terrible sense of time. If I'm not constantly looking at the clock, I'm so completely prone to losing track of time that I'm late for things or I completely underestimate the amount of time it will take me to do something... anything, really. Many of my friends have referred to my world working on what has been dubbed, "T-Time", which differs drastically from Standard Time. If Standard Time dictates that Activity X should take 10 minutes, T-Time will mean it will probably be 15 or 20. If I ever told someone 6:30, they could expect no problems if they arrived at approximately 6:43. If I say I'll meet you in 20 minutes, don't worry if you don't get there for 30. This turns into the obvious issues of always being late and never providing myself enough time to do things.
I'm absolutely certain this was one of the main factors that prevented me from earning my million when I was painting on a piece-work system two years ago. And it also directly impacts my teaching, since teachers have to learn to budget their time extremely well in order to get through the intended lessons and curriculum. When looking long-term, I'm not terrible, but in the short term things are absolutely awful. I'm sure I get this from my mom (since my dad has had to deal with the fact that she's late, or, at least not early, well, ever), since it seems like her genetics have pretty much hit me like a tonne of bricks since I was kid (fair skin, early hair loss, average height, bad joints, propensity to gab, atrocious memory) and they continue to manifest themselves quite regularly. And really, I blame my mom's genes for all the obvious things which she suffers from that I see in myself. I've always wondered how certain sets of genes can so overwhelmingly control the fate of one offspring... not quite like the pea pods and curved thumbs that we studied in high school biology.
The point of this is really to say that, in my slow attempts at getting ready and putting my life in order before heading out the door, I realized I was late and that I was going to miss my bus. Which I did. Which is why I'm stranded here at the University, waiting for the next bus out to my sponsor school. Oh joy, oh bliss. I think I'm just trying to make excuses, because I find that things are easier to accept when you don't have control over them. Maybe not all things, but I've got a pretty large Hakuna Matata attitude, so I find that its pretty easy to deal with. Particularly those things that make you feel like a big moron. Oh well... not much I can do at this point in the game. Thank goodness for silent reading at the start of class.
- T
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