100 posts

I think it should be a celebration!

Okay, maybe that's a bit absurd. If I were to celebrate my own incessant rambling, it would be like celebrating how much I love myself. And, well, that's simply a bit strange. And egocentric. And just ridiculous. So I won't. But this is post #100... weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Now that I'm finished with that, onto other things.

I used to be a voracious reader. I had a strong appetite for a variety of fiction (usually Canadian) and loved spending time at coffee shops on my own just enjoying the fact that I'm alone and I'm okay with that. Needless to say, it's been a long time since I've had a chance to enjoy that sort of time. Between school, work, social and familial committments, there's not a massive amount of T-time left. The odd walk and time on my own either browsing the internet or doing schoolwork is about all I have. Not that it's anything to cry about, but I sometimes miss the days where I could put in my headphones, go for a walk down to the local java hut, and just lose myself for three or four hours eavesdropping on a variety of interesting and not-so-interesting conversations while DMB filled my ears and the smells of chocolate and coffee grounds and toasting sandwiches filled my nostrils, all the while getting lost in the adventures of Timothy Findlay or Douglas Coupland. It's just been a long time since I've been alone.

And it looks like this weekend might be the first time that I have that time. Time to work on my resume, waste time watching crappy TV, drinking coffee at a shop that I've never been to, and just getting my mind together. Sure, it gets a little lonely and I'm a bit of a social butterfly, but I've always been fairly good at being on my own. K might be heading back to visit her family again this weekend since they recently put down a rather large creature of the bovine family which has been turned into a wide variety of choice cuts that are coming to my deep freeze at the most reasonable of prices (and they need to be picked up and brought out here). K wants me to go with her for the drive, but I've been going somewhere and doing something every weekend for the past 3 months, and it might be nice just to have the weekend off. Of everything. Including 16 hours in the car, even though I thoroughly enjoy car rides with my hunny.

So, I guess here's to a year of blogging, 100 rants, and a self-indulgent attempt at immortalizing my less-than-exciting life. I only hope that a little pleasure comes from this from time to time (for my 3 or so readers per day!).

- T

My life as a pilly sweater

I was obviously very tired yesterday. As my friend/colleague N.T. were on our way back into town from school, this thought came into my head and I had to share it. I looked over and said something along the lines of, "I feel fuzzy. I mean, my hair does. I think I need a haircut. Do you ever feel like your head looks like an old, worn-in teddy bear? I do, and my hair feels like that right now." I laughed out loud to myself, and said, "Ah... my life as a pilly sweater! I should write a book about that." I looked over at N.T. and inquired, "Would you buy a book by me titled, 'My life as a pilly sweater'?" She laughed and I felt like a bit of a meathead. Still funny.

Yesterday just felt like the longest half-day of teaching I've had since being here. I'm sure some of it was caused by a mediocre sleep (or just lack of spring-break sleepins), but nonetheless I needed a bit more of it. Then I had two hours of volleyball after I got home and cooked, then marked until 11pm before finally crawling into bed (where I fell asleep immediately after hitting the pillow). Today is gonna be another long one, but I have a limited amount of work to do and tomorrow's Friday (oh joy, oh bliss). And next week is a short week and so is the week after. And then after those 2 weeks, I only have 3 more weeks after that until I'm certified. Not that I'm counting. Okay, maybe I'm counting. And it's springtime. And there's ice cream in the freezer. So really, life's swell. Other than darn kids giving me migraines, life's swell.

- T

Cute things I saw as I was driving to the school today

I had to get some photocopying done, and as I was driving, I saw some pretty funny things....

One billboard read,

"My wife and I had words last night... I just didn't get to use mine."

Another one read,

"Fat is what you get for breaking the feed limit."

The final entertaining thing I saw was a group of kindergarteners waiting on the side of the road and pumping their arms in the air. At first I wasn't sure what they were doing, but then I heard a deep, loud honk coming from the cement truck. They successfully got the cement truck to pull his air horn, hence the arm-pumping motion. During sport road trips back in junior high and high school we used to do that to passing semi's all the time. That, as well as reaching out the window and making paddling motions as we passed people (yes, like in a canoe). Fun times.

- T

How I communicate:

Interestingly, I did this once and had "You Communicate Like a Man" come up. I then went back and changed only one answer, and this came up. Interesting, very interesting...

You Communicate Like a Woman

You empathize, talk things out, and express your emotions freely. You're a good listener, and you're non-judgmental with your advice. Communication is how you connect with people. You're always up for a long talk, no matter how difficult the subject matter is.

Do You Communicate Like a Man or a Woman?

In other news...

I had a really enjoyable trip back to Alberta last weekend. It was great to see a huge number of friends and acquaintances, as well as my family. As always, it never seems like long enough, but it's enjoyable all the same. I'm glad that I have the opportunities to see everyone from time to time.

I was also thinking about where I'm going to be in the next few years. I've been asked repeatedly if I plan to go back to my home town or to Alberta in general, and my response keeps coming back to, "I'm not sure." I'm sure some people think that I hesitate because I don't want to be close to my family, or that I really despise Alberta. However, this isn't really the case at all.

There's no doubt that I love my independence and the fact that I can make a life on my own (with K, of course) outside of the place where I grew up. Other people have difficulty with this. But the fact remains that I simply love B.C. I feel pretty much at home here, and now that I'm in the interior, I'm really enjoying the fact that K and I can drive home for our holidays rather than shelling out money for a flight. This is the real reason I'm hesitating at the move back home. Along with the fact that only a few of my friends still live in Lethbridge and I have many here in B.C. makes me want to stay. The real reason we're considering the move back to Alberta is our families, and as we start considering having a family of our own, we'd like to be closer to them all. If they were in B.C., I wouldn't be planning a move back to the 4-0-3, but since they are there, we're slowly moving closer and closer as time moves on.

Another consideration is where I get a teaching job. I'm hoping to get one here in the valley, but I have no idea if that's going to happen (even though I'm hopeful and moderately confident). I'll probably apply for jobs all over the place, and maybe even send in an application for my old mentor's teaching position. I don't know. All I know is that I've got a lot on my plate and I have no clue where I'll be in 6 months. Wherever it is, though, I'm sure I'll be happy...

- T

Certain all-consuming things

I was tossing and turning. My feet were slightly cold since we decided to leave the window open a crack in order to let in some of the fresh (but chilly) night air. And I was dreaming. Not about sunsets or puppies or eating cheeseburgers (do people actually dream about these things?), but about school. Not university either, but my upcoming return to my sponsor school after a generally enjoyable spring break.

As I rolled over for the tenth time, I grabbed my glasses so I could see the alarm across the room; it read 4:13am. I was awake. Actually, not just awake.... wide awake. I came to the realization that I had only two days to meet with my sponsor teacher about my unit plans for the upcoming 6 weeks, and I hadn't sent them off yet. Of course, this is typical me, but still created some stress.

I thought about what I needed to do, and even wrote down a few things on a post-it sitting on my bedside table. I had it all somewhat clear in my mind, although there were some unanswered questions that I'm still not sure about. So I tried to roll over and get some more sleep. The clock read 4:27. And then it read 4:35. I read it again with the same result a few moments later (the minutes passing by exceedingly slowly), so I just got up, turned on the computer, and started typing. It was early, but when you're awake, you're awake. Or, at least I am.

I didn't get a huge amount accomplished, but I laid out some things that I finished today and got rid of the demons that troubled my sleep. After typing up some of the plan and writing myself some notes, I had a glass of milk and crawled back into bed. And I'm still wondering why I'm doing far more work than almost anyone else in the program. I constantly ask others what is expected of them, and I keep running into the same general response: a limited amount. As long as they're doing a tolerable job, they have the class under control and they show a sense of competence, sponsor teachers are happy. And this seems to be the case in 2/3 of my classes. But in one, it's an all-consuming battle to meet expectations and try to figure this whole thing out.

- T

Walking... stories.

If I ever go for a walk, I often think about the people I pass or see from the sidewalk and wonder what they're doing, or where they're going, or what they're thinking. I look at a young man with his child at the park and I wonder if he has an interesting story to tell about the tatoos that crawl up and down his arms. I'm curious about the young girl with a heavy backpack, wondering if she's a good student, and wonder what her favorite subject is (or if she even likes school at all). Maybe it's not even school books in her bag. Not that it matters. I create a reality for the elderly gentleman nearby, who is walking his yappy pomeranian and smoking his tobacco pipe. The scent vaguely reminds me of someone from my childhood that smoked a pipe, though I don't recall who. Again, it probably doesn't matter.

I used to walk all the time... it used to be my way of shutting my mind off getting away from bitterness or frustration or from situations that I didn't know how to handle. After a fight with a parent or a miserable breakup, I would throw on my shoes and head for the park near my house. The bike path cutting through it led all over the west side. Sometimes I'd end up over at the house I grew up in. Other times I'd get all the way to my old elementary school. I guess it depended on the time of day/night and how cold I was getting. At one point in high school, I bumped into another troubled soul who had also taken off from her house to get away from an argument with her parents. Just as I was entering the park I noticed her and said hi. We went to school together, but hadn't really said more than a few words to each other in two or three years. I was a bit of a jock/prep/nerd type, and she hung out more with the wannabe misfits who hung out in the smoke pit and talked about Curt Cobain and Jim Morrison and the idiotic nature of the popular kids. I didn't always have to make up personalities and worlds of other people... sometimes they revealed themselves to me.

So yesterday, I went for a walk. I put my headphones in and let my mind wander aimlessly to the violins that always linger in the background of Dave Matthews' music. I strolled a few blocks and turned a corner toward the nearby strip mall. My objective: coffee. And not just coffee... but a delicious toffee-nut Americano (with cream, of course... I drink baby coffee). After turning the corner and tapping my fingers to the music in my ears, I notice a police car parked a block up the road. Since it was sitting just outside a parking lot, it seemed out of place. After a few more steps, I saw the officer standing near the corner. No radio. No radar. Just standing. He was young... maybe 30, if that. Probably got stuck here doing some sort of traffic duty while the vets ate muffins at the station or were busy breaking down the doors of meth houses. This young guy was probably thinking he'd rather be writing parking tickets than standing on the side of some road looking lost. I kept on walking, knowing that he probably had everything under control, even though he looked thoroughly bored. As I got closer to the coffee shop, I noticed another police car, this time parked in an apartment parking lot. Two officers were sitting in the car. No one in the back. No radar. No lights. Just sitting. This is even more strange, I thought. But again, I kept walking.

After reaching my desired destination and acquiring my delicious caffeine jolt, I return on the same route I came. Still, the two officers sat in their car. No lights. No radar. And again I passed the young officer on the side of the road. No radio. No radar. An ambulance then passed by the both of us, but didn't stop and kept going past. Same with a firetruck, sirens blaring. We both watched and wondered what the destination was... who was in trouble. And the officer remained, checking his pockets for something. And I kept walking.

I got in the apartment a few minutes later, wondering if the officer had a girlfriend waiting for him at home. Maybe he has a small dog sleeping at the foot of the stairs, waiting for him. I took a drink of my coffee. His job could be dangerous. How long would the dog wait? Probably a long time. Forever, if it took that long. That's the nice thing about dogs... their loyalty doesn't wane. What about the girlfriend? Is she as understanding and patient about his chosen career? Maybe... it's hard to say.

- T

My love for all things Canadiana and reflections about home

Maple Syrup
Beavers
Sock&Sandal Hippies
The NDP
Gretzky
Curling
This Hour Has 22 Minutes
Don Cherry
Passive-Aggressive Politeness
Prairie

All these things make up something uniquely Canadian. Now, some people won't identify with the prairies, or they may have an aversion to maple syrup, or they may see Jack Layton as a communist conspirator. Nonetheless, these things combined create something uniquely Canadian, whether we admit it or not.

A few quotes from Will Ferguson's Why I Hate Canadians should be appropriate here...

"The border between Canada and the U.S. was forged in geography, trade routes, blood, war, threats and ultimatums. It was not a psychological yearning that kept us clinging to the border, it was the combined threat of frostbite and Manifest Destiny."

"Could Canadians have chosen a less inspiring emblem? The Russians have a bear, the Americans a bald eagle, the British a lion rampart - and Canada? Canada has a beaver. If you want to play a round of Could'a Had, the list is long. We could'a had a timber wolf. Or a polar bear. Or a bison. Or a lynx. Or even the conveniently named Canada goose. But no, we got stuck with a 30-kilogram, bucktoothed rodent whose most heroic trait is that he thinks to slap his tail to warn his buddies before he runs away."

One thing I noticed last night (that may or may not be unique to other parts of the world at night), is that Canadian towns all look the same on the drive through. I was out on the Westside last night hanging out with a few friends when I came through the city's downtown. For a few moments, I wasn't sure where I was. I saw the fast-food neons, vacancy signs, the obvious Wally's World (a.k.a. Walmart), and side streets that slipped quickly and quietly into the suburban neighbourhoods off the highway strip. It could have been Kamloops, or Regina, or Winnipeg. The annonymity was a bit overwhelming, as I rolled down my window and wondered when this place had become so strange but at the same time so familiar.

It is still strange to me why certain things feel like home. When I return back to Lethbridge, it's the coffee shop. The familiar trips across the river. It's the recognizable faces. It's the dogs greeting me at the door. My family, friends, former acquaintances. Ex-girlfriends, ex-teachers. But once again I wonder... what's changed? The town may have grown a bit, and the staff at the local grocery store has probably turned over a time or two. I used to wonder why everything didn't just look so different, but why it felt so strange. I think I realized that the scenery doesn't change... just the eyes do.

I think about the coast in the same manner, and I yearn for that sense of what I know. I knew the ferry schedule really well. I knew exactly how long the #14 bus took to get from the stop across from my apartment to the school, and what days I should make sure I'm early in case one is too full to pick me up. I knew that the Moka House in Cook Street Village was a place I could always go for an escape. Even though I knew people that frequented the shop from time to time, I also knew that I could preserve my annonymity through headphones and a quiet table in the corner. I could also enjoy the fact that downtown was a mere 10 minute walk, and if I needed a taste of the ocean, I just had to hop on my bike for 10 minutes for that much-needed indulgence. I've been here in the valley for more than six months, and I still don't know my way around. I don't have a hangout (other than my sponsor school), and I'm still not sure what the best way to get to downtown is. Much of this has to do with the fact that my schedule doesn't allow such indulgences right now, but I'm hoping that it'll come. I do like it here... but it's going to take some time for me to make it feel like home.

- T

Oh, Happy Day

And I'm not talking about the old gospel tune.

Today is the day in every teacher's life that is just a little more bearable, more enjoyable, more glorious than other days past. No, it is not simply that it is Friday, although Friday is a wonderful thing on it's own. No, I'm talking about the final day before HOLIDAYS! Spring Break starts at 3:14 today, and I may be just the slightest bit excited. Maybe.

As per usual, things have been crazy lately. Luckily, I think they're going to be a bit more under control from this point forward (I hope) since I don't have any more coaching clinics to attend and there's only 5 more weeks of practicum time before I'm fully certified. Sure, I have to stay on until the end of the year so I can still keep teaching one class "in the spirit of volunteerism", but certification is coming oh-so-soon, and I'm just that much closer to being able to actually make a bit of money at this teaching gig. Not that I'm in it for the money, because if I am, I should go back to school and reacquire some math skills.

The sun was even shining over the valley this morning, which must be a positive omen.

Other things that have been going on:
- I met Paul Yee, a Governor-General award winning writer who came to our school a week ago for a presentation
- I finished my interim report for part one of the second practicum session I'm doing. It went well, but I still have some things to nail down before I'm approved as an excellent candidate for a teaching job next year.
- Now that the weather is better, I hate the fact that I'm not allowed to Barbeque on my deck.

And that's about all... I'll try to come up with something brilliant as time goes on.

-T

A few things mashed into one...

I was having a conversation with one of my sponsor teachers the other day, and she asked me to come up with my own list of what went well in the class and what I need to work on. As the term's progressed, this has been the strategy for her... moving away from her advice and criticism to a place where I can come up with my own ideas of being self-aware and self-critical. After filling out about three items in the "recommendations" column, I stared blankly at the "commendations" column. I tensed up, my eyes were getting a bit glassy, and I couldn't come up with a single thing to put in the positive column.

Now, it wasn't that it was a terrible day. I think it was simply... how do I say it... uninspiring. Lately, I've been dealing with the pressures of a boatload of marking, upcoming interim marks (both for my students and the second part of my practicum), getting ready to apply for certification, thinking about getting my resume together, beginning my unit planning for after Spring Break, spending time with Kerrie, coaching 2-3 days a week, and the list seems to go on and on for a long time. I've also been fighting off the early stages of a cold for nearly a week, and although I've been getting some sleep, it just hasn't felt like enough. I don't usually have really bad days... lately they have just been lacking epiphanies and inspiring feelings that I'm changing the world. She made a comment about pessimism and optimism, and how I'd been in the bottom of a whisky bottle if I didn't learn to positively self-reflect. And not grandpa's good whisky, either.

Every once in a while I get thinking about what I was like as a kid. I remember being goofy, but the amount of specific events I recall seem to be pretty sporadic. I have a sister that has the most creative memory on the planet and she claims she remembers all sorts of things that no one else can vouch for.

I remember thinking I was going to be a lawyer when I was in my early teens. I was really into Grisham novels and wanted nothing more than to save the world through my cunning intellect and saavy nature. I also considered being a psychologist, since I was a bit of a go-to guy for friends when they needed a shoulder. Early in university, I considered entering the philosophy and religious studies department to be a scholar of sorts. Anyone who knows me well has probably shared an extended, long-winded discussion with me about religion and philosophy in some form or another. Most recently (before getting into education), I thought my life was going to be in publishing or writing, since I originally moved out to the coast with ambitions of entering the creative writing program. However, I didn't declare a major when I first moved and all the spots for the intro writing classes were taken by creative writing majors. So, I went into English Lit. And four years later, here I am.

Don't get me wrong... I 'm definitely not complaining, because I really enjoyed my degree and my time out in Victoria. If my collective families were closer to the coast, K and I probably would've stayed (minus the fact she hated being on an island). Even when I was in high school and early university, I joked about the fact that I wasn't going to get married for a LONG time, likely in my 30's. Now, I'm the first of my friend group from high school to get married and the third out of my university friends. It's funny how life works out, and how we can have all the expectations and plans we want, but life takes it's own route.

I think reflective people are fatalists by nature. They look back on their lives, and have a hard time imagining how it could be any different. I go in and out of phases of fatalistism. Sometimes life seems so ordered. When looking back, it's hard to imagine how things could be different. But looking ahead... who knows? I'm sure I've quoted him before, but that C.S. Lewis guy is pretty clever...

"For the longest way round is the shortest way home".

- t

Only 2 weeks...

... to go until we get Spring Break. And it couldn't come quickly enough.

I got back into town last night from the Fraser Valley after coaching our first real club volleyball tournament of the year. The drive was a bit of a mess and after a long week last week, I was almost thinking of just staying home to relax, mark homework and catch up on my Z's. This was balanced with an urge to get out of town to do something completely unrelated to school, so in the end, coaching won out and it turned out to be a really rewarding weekend. The boys I'm coaching played well, I was complimented on my coaching by my coaching mentor, and we placed 10th out of 17 teams, which was good considering our "A" team only placed 7th. We actually lost a really tight game in the Consolation final which was a bit heartbreaking, and should have placed Top 8 (we were in a 3-way tie for 1st in our round robin pool, and came in second due to points scored) but the guys really played well nearly all tournament, so I have absolutely nothing to complain about.

Things around the valley are still crazy busy, though, and I don't think they'll slow down until March 10th. Obviously I teach all week, and the weekend coming up features yet another coaching clinic for 3 days, and then I get back here to the school all of next week (again, very obvious). But, it's winding down and it's going to be wonderful to have a few days to sleep in and relax, as well as to take some time to get back to Alberta to visit the families.

On a completely unrelated note, here's a great quote from Salman Rushdie on writing...

"What one writer can make in the solitude of one room is something no power can easily destroy"
- S. Rushdie

- T

We all have a bad test from time to time...

I received these pictures from one of my fellow staff members, and they definitely perked up my day. Hope you enjoy!

Click on the pictures to see a more clear view...

This kid is obviously a touch
more than frustrated!

Some days are just longer than others..

... and this may be one of those long ones.

After teaching all day, knowing that I have volleyball practice for 2 hours, as well as a boatload of marking, prep, and course work that was due a month ago, I'm just dreading the next 6 or 7 hours. This doesn't include the work I need to sort out for Friday, since I'm heading to the Fraser Valley for my first big club volleyball tournament. It also ignores the long day of dealing with 16 year olds who can't even handle 10 minutes of responsibility. But, I guess I just need to suck it up. Everyone's busy and stressed and overworked and underpaid, so I guess I should simply quit my excessive whining. Tomorrow's another day, and it's wonderfully sunny outside. Sure, there's plenty to do, but there's also plenty to enjoy.

On a side note... Hey you! That stranger from Airdrie who reads my rants here.... you should leave me a message to let me know who you are!

I'll hopefully have something more fulfilling to write about soon. Until then...

- T

Crazy animals doing funny things...

I got a good chuckle out of this. It's almost like a "Best Of" for clips of animals from AFV. Enjoy!

- T

First Friday of the week

The weekend is coming and it couldn't be soon enough.

It seems like this week has been dragging on. Much of that has to do with the fact that I had my coaching clinic all weekend, which didn't really provide me with an opportunity to get some much-needed rest. It was actually moderately stressful, since I wasn't sure if I was in over my head or not. Nonetheless, I'm excited that the weekend is here as of 4:00pm today. Tomorrow being a PD Day, I'm heading out to the mountains for a seminar on BC's forestry industry, which should be enjoyable. Outdoors, free lunch, no students to worry about... la dolce vita, I'd say.

On a somewhat related but otherwise unrelated topic, I hate being overtired. Interestingly, I act similarly when I'm either tired or really hungry, which means I manifest a serious attitude of jerkface. I can definitely be pleasant, but it's pretty easy to set me off in a negative direction and I've been known to, from time to time, take my fatigued bitterness out on those around me. Not typically at work or with friends, but usually on family. Why is it that we (or more specifically, I) direct antagonism toward those we really love, and not strangers? I don't know if everyone's like this, but I definitely am. I can be upbeat and chipper (maybe in a false way, but chipper nonetheless) to a total stranger, even if they anger me, but when I get home and I'm in a bit of a mood, I take it out on K or other family members far too easily. This has pretty much always been a character fault of mine, and I really hate it. At the time I lash out, I can justify my anger 6 different ways, but give me 10 seconds to think about it, and I realize that I just treated the love of my life like a piece of rubbish. I guess that's why it's love... these important people stick around even after you treat them like an enemy.

You may be picking up on a tone of guilt, which may or may not be the case. Still, I hate this fault. I was actually talking to one of my intern compadres about something similar, and mentioned that I'm terrible at disengaging when it comes to arguments. It gets even worse when I need to catch on my beauty sleep. I guess we all have our battles... this is just one of my most obvious ones.

On a much more unrelated note, K and I watched "The Departed" last night and I have to say that I loved it. Sure, it may be a bit on the violent side and the actors drop the F-bomb like there's going to be a massive lockdown on profanity in mainstream media, but it was extremely well put together and I always appreciate a good Shakespeare reference which makes sense when it's used and isn't just thrown in as an attempt to make the writing seem more intelligent. Rent it. Seriously. Rent it.

- T

The things in my life

School: really, the most time consuming part of my life. Even more so than spending time with my wife and sleeping, which I don't do often enough. The stories I hear about students and about teacher's experiences makes me think that this job takes a massive amount of both patience and responsibility. Cliched or not, we're in the people-making business, and there's little room for error.
On a completely separate note, even though my sponsor teacher is running me ragged with reflection and lesson-planning and big idea stuff that I can barely get my head around, I think she's going to do a world of good for my career. And, as I hoped, I just really love being with the kids. There's always something surprising that comes up, whether they drive me bonko or not.

Coaching: Taking up a massive amount of my spare time. Mainly, weekends. I finished my Level 1 Technical three weekends ago, and my Level 2 Technical this past weekend over 3 days (both for volleyball), and I have another 3-day clinic on March 3/4/5 to go to to get my Levels 1/2 Theory. Not to mention that I'm heading to the Fraser Valley for a tournament at the end of February, and to Calgary in May for Nationals. Although the weekday schedule is fairly light, it's still plenty time-consuming.

Everything else: I'm heading back to Alberta twice in March. The first trip will be to see one of my old teachers (and someone I hold in hugely high regard) who is retiring this year back in Alberta. Another former teacher and now VP of my old high school has organized a sort of secret send-off for him and another retiring teacher, and has invited many old theatre alumni back for it. I received an invite... for those of you who don't know, I did my high school musical in my senior year, acting as the mischievous Tommy Sloane in Anne of Green Gables. It should be fun.
The second trip is on the following weekend with my in-laws for a bit of a weekend getaway. K's parents, her brother (and his wife), and her sister (with husband and kids) are meeting us in Edmonton for some West Ed. action. We don't get together very often, so it's a chance for us to all be in one place at the same time.
K and I are also heading for bit of a resort getaway (only for one night, but nice all the same) in April, and then I'm back in AB in May for volleyball Nationals. Not to mention that I'm a certified teacher as of May 4th! Weeeee. My intern friend N.T. figured out that there's only about 45 teaching days left before certification. Crazy stuff, I know.

Okay, I've bored ya'll enough. Hope that update was sufficient, and I'll try to write more clever things soon. And I hoped you enjoyed the last post with my itsy story. Thanks for reading, K and L!

- T

A postcard-length short story I penned last night

For my English classes, I thought it would be a good idea to come up with an example of what a descriptive paragraph could look like, using some clear imagery and engaging with sensory-related experiences. So, I wrote this last night so my students could see what I meant in the directions. Let me know what you think... enjoy!


I walked out of the conference room toward the parking lot, shoving myself through the weighty door as I swung my backpack over my shoulder. I felt the hard thump of my laptop slam against the small of my back as I inhaled a cold, crisp November breath. The smell of diesel exhaust filled my mouth, heavy and bitter, like sucking on the gray sky that hung over the valley. But the gray above was so much sweeter than the pollution invading my lungs and causing me to hack. Stepping past a rusty Buick and a sloppy, muddy flower bed (which would be blooming with fragrant tulips in a few months), I could feel the pulse of my phone vibrating through my jacket. After being bombarded by voices all day, I needed a few minutes of solace and silence before I battled another request for attention. The partially frozen doors of my jeep creaked open, and I tossed my pack violently on to the passenger seat as I sat down on the cold, vinyl seats. My raspberry car freshener needed to be discarded. Flicking open my cell, I checked the number: home. I probably needed to grab a barbequed chicken or some salty take-out on the way home. Maybe she wanted to grab a sandwich at the jazz café up the road, listening to Duke Wellington and enjoying a glass of pinot noir. Checking the rearview, I backed out slowly, drifting in my mind to Dizzy Gillespie, hearing each note of the trumpet bleet out while the sax kept time in the background. It was like I was already there, as if it took only a moment to transport myself to the dark mahogany and rich maroon and yellow walls of the café. I pulled out on the main drag with a lurch and a grind, thinking about the sticky first gear. I heard a short burst of sound; a quickly-approaching screech, or something similar. As the sheet metal and fiberglass and vinyl and plastic crumpled around me and glass fell about my face, I was thinking about her in that café, smiling, laughing; she was thinking that maybe the day wasn’t as long or as hard or as bad as she originally thought.

Well well well... time to breathe

Well, I guess not a lot of time to breathe, but time all the same.

I'm taking a day off today, because I've been pretty nutso with work as of late. One of my sponsor teachers has had me running ragged getting ready to teach her class. I think maybe her expectations are a little severe, but I'm hoping that the fact that she wants to micro-manage my learning is going to pay off in the long run. I hope.

The new semester/practicum of teaching started this past Thursday, and I think I lucked out with my classes. I'm not perceiving any major issues beyond chattiness and a little bit of rambunctiousness, but the term is still young, and there's plenty of time for things to go wrong. I'm still coaching a bit of volleyball, which has been good, and I was able to get my Level 1 coaching certification partially done last weekend. The first part of my Level 2 comes up next weekend as well. The club I'm coaching for has volunteered to pay for my certification clinics, so I'm happy to let them rack up the $500 bill that will need to be paid when all is said and done. But, I figure it's a good way to get some experience under my belt, pad my resume a bit, and reward myself for helping out beyond the classroom. Not to mention, it may introduce me to some people that may help me get a job in the new year.

It looks like I'll be heading back to the prairies for a few visits in the next few months, and my big brother's coming out for visit as well. In the 4 years that I've been away from AB, he is the only one of my family who hasn't come out for a visit and finally it looks like he's coming at the start of May. It's kinda bad timing because I'm in the process of finishing up my semester of teaching a 75% load and in the middle of being certified, but he's coming out all the same and both K and I are excited. I'm also heading back to the 4-0-3 a few times. My old English teacher and pseudo-mentor is retiring from teaching this year, and the school is providing him with a bit of a send-off, to which all the old theatre alumni are invited. I only participated in theatre in my senior year, but I got to know P.M. pretty well in those formative years and used to go back to visit him fairly often. Ironically, the school is even performing an adaptation of the very play I performed when I did the musical. For a little added (and obvious) irony, I'm receiving my certification for teaching in the same year he's retiring. Meant to be??? I'm not quite sure. I was never really sure what I wanted to do for a career before I actually entered the teaching program, but I think I found a good fit.

I don't really know if there's anything worthwhile to add. My beautiful wife is doing well as always, and it seems as though any major natural disasters have avoided this part of the world as of late. Other than ripping a 6 inch hole in the ass of my nice khakis about 2 weeks ago, I don't think I have anything else to share. But I'll try to keep you loyal readers reading by posting a bit more often... ciao for now...

- T

Oh... I decided to remove my profile from the public view to create a bit more privacy... I've had some strange experiences with people having my online information as of late, so I'm going to try to keep a bit of a low profile.

M.I.A.

I haven't really been around much lately and I'm sure my 6 person/day readership has severely declined. Not that the 6 people who read this aren't important, I've just been ridiculously swamped with school as of late. Luckily, things are at least moderately under control and I think that by the weekend, I'll feel kinda okay about where I am with my workload.

I officially finished the last university classes for my program yesterday, even though I still have some assignments to submit for one class. I still have another 5 months of student teaching to do, but I don't have to jump through any more university hoops to complete this program anymore! I can't jump for joy quite yet, since I still have a boatload of planning to do before tomorrow and before next week, since I take over a 75% teaching load as of next Thursday. Pretty intense, I know. And really, it's mainly intense to me because I had a hard enough time handling a 50% load, let alone 3/4 blocks. Oh well, I have to just suck it up and do it.

In other news, I'm getting my Level 1 volleyball certification this weekend, paid for by the volleyball club I'm coaching now, and I'll probably even get my level 2 in a few more weeks. I'm also playing a game in a rec-league tournament tomorrow night, so hopefully I don't make a total fool out of myself there. I haven't really played since the summer (or at least October), so it might be ugly.

I should be back to more regular posts after this weekend. T-T-F-N.

- T

How I've been unwinding

When I need a break from University classes and lesson planning and being generally overwhelmed, I've been enjoying short video clips from a wonderful website called "Will it Blend?", which features the Blendtec Blender in all it's pureeing, chopping and smoothie-creating glory. This simply must be the most powerful blender ever!

Check out the videos here. Pick one from the list, sit back and enjoy!

- T.M.

Bathroom Bards

When I moved out to the coast four years ago, I had a romantic idea of what my choice of University stood for, and of how the intellectual nature of the institution would literally shine from the walls and rooftops. And then I had to relieve myself between classes.

At an intellectual institution, you'd suspect that you would be awash in maturity and reason and liberal ideas, and so on and so forth. Again, my naive idealism is shining through. To contradict myself, if you ever want to see what a University really has to say about itself, visit the bathrooms on campus. Take a seat in a stall and look at the walls around you to see what these poverty-stricken intellectuals have to say about the world in which they live. If you follow these steps, you'll immediately enter a world that is strikingly familiar to childhood experiences in a middle-school washroom.

The walls are adorned with topics ranging from who slept with who's mother, to bigoted verse about who is inferior to who, to the most mature comments about which professional hockey team is more heterosexual than another professional hockey team. There's the odd insightful poem about making poopie or of wetting oneself, and the less-than-anomalous reference to phallus size (sometimes if you're lucky, a scale model will be provided). And all of these wonderful comments come forth in an array of sharpie felt pen. Or, if none is available, then such references will be made simply with a sharp object used to scratch it's wisdom through the stall paint to be profound for all eternity (or until maintenance has a chance to repaint the place).

Now, I don't know if I should really be bothered by such nonsense, but it seems strikingly odd that such things take place. People hope that higher education will enlighten and force maturity on the masses. However, this may not be the case. Maybe the hijinx of Mr. Belushi in Animal House was closer to the reality of University or College than anyone actually believed. Or maybe I've simply been fooling myself for a very long time.

- T

Hilarious video...

I received this video from a friend of mine in Victoria a couple of years ago. I hadn't watched it for a while, but I figured it was worth sharing. True, it's absurd and strange, but after the confusion you may feel following the video, you'll probably laugh heartily. If not, I guess I just have a warped sense of humour. The title of the video short is "The Boy Who Could Smell the Future". I'm sure I've shown it to some of you, but you still have to check it out a second time if you've already seen it.

See the short video here...

Thanks to Kurt Nellis (the author/director/stranger) for sharing his videos...

- T

Far too funny not to share...

Thanks for the laugh, L.G.

Check out this post!

- T

Sometimes I just wish I wasn't a bonehead

Yeppers, you guessed it... I'm an idiot. Well, I don't take complete responsibility for this, but I definitely take partial responsibility.

So here's the reason why I say I'm a bonehead...

I arrived at the bus stop early this morning to head out to my sponsor school, and since the bus that heads out that way only comes about once per hour, I caught an earlier bus up to the connector at the University so I could warm up before waiting again. In all reality, I was just excited that I was early and not (as per usual) running late.

I enjoyed my ride out here to the University, drinking my coffee and taking in the scenery... the sky was clear and the sun hadn't yet woken up the city. Sure, it was -20, but it was the nicest -20 you could ask for. I waited a patient 5 minutes at the University terminal for the connector out to the school, and watched it pull up in front of me. At the same time, I reached into my jacket pocket to grab my wallet/bus pass to make sure I was fully ready for the driver. However, my pocket was strangely empty (other than an empty pack of Excel spearmint). Frantic, I frisked myself to see if I had transferred the wallet to another pocket with no success. And I didn't open up my bag on the bus so unless it was immediately behind me on the ground, I realized that it must have fallen out of my pocket and was sitting in the seat I just left a few minutes before.

Shamefully, I still walked onto the bus and told my story to the driver heading out to my sponsor school. Luckily, he's driven me on a number of occasions and other than laughing at me, he had no problem getting on the radio to contact the driver that was running back into the city with my goods. After the story was told yet again, the first driver pulled the bus over, found my wallet, and said that he would be back at the University at 8:45 and that he would hold it for me if I wanted to pick it up there. Shame, shame, T.M.

If this was another day, I probably wouldn't have been worried. But I'm supposed to be meeting one of my Term 2 sponsor teachers at the school at 9am, and I won't even get out there until the bus that stole my wallet comes back and I catch yet another connector up the road!

When things like this happen, I wonder if there's a puppet master out there pulling my strings just so other people can laugh at me. Maybe that puppet master is my own daftness. I'm not sure. What I do know is that I feel like an idiot like this somewhat regularly. Oh well, if not me than someone else, right? Well, maybe not.

- T.M.

Quick One

Just thinking about my attitude of teaching and (as always) reflecting on what I'm doing and not doing and what I should be doing to become better at this thing I'm calling a career.

1) More planning. I've got to stop being so damn lazy and satisfying myself with the lame idea that I actually need to unwind for three hours in front of the t.v.

2) My attitude will effect how my students will react to my teaching. I've realized that I've made some mistakes in class when I bring a crappy attitude to my students. If I don't seem like I want to be there, they won't either. My attitude is directly related to the enthusiasm of my students.

3) Realizing that I'm no different than anyone else in this job. The more I talk to teachers, the more I realize that we're all introspective freaks for at least the first few years of the job. I just need to make sure I learn from the mistakes I make rather than dwelling on them and repeating them.

4) Have fun. High school students, to a certain extent, just need to be entertained a bit in order to go through the motions of school with any sort of positive outlook. Sure, this isn't universal, but it's definitely more prevalent than I realized. And I can't simply be selective about this... I have to distribute this through all of my classes.

That's all the insight for now.

- T

Additional Links

I've been wanting to play with my template for a while, but I'm not sure I want to leave the glitzy and uber-sexy world of a black background with white and green text. Come on, admit it... you think it's sexy too.

Okay, maybe sexy is the wrong word. Maybe I'm looking for something more akin to "neat-o" or "okay". Still, I've been considering what I can do to make it more sleek and modern and, dare I say it, "cool".

In reality, the only changes I've made lately are a few additions to the links sections... I've added Mr. John Mayer's blog site, because he's a clever s-o-b and, whether you like him or not, I don't care... he's much cooler and more witty than I'll probably be, and you're in the same boat, whoever you are. Okay, maybe not all of you, but most of you for sure. If I was suddenly blessed with a glowing and attractive tenor voice and more hair and some musical talent, I'd like to be a sleek version of John Mayer. Or Dave Matthews. Damn... now I'll have to see if Dave has a blog that I can stalk from time to time in hopes of hearing more about his plans to tour the central Okanagan.

I've also added "Nature's Mighty Pictures" to the side links, which is simply fun and interesting... if I had some photography-based artistic talent, I'd like to take pictures the quality of many of the ones that find their way onto this site. Neat-O!

I'm not actually much more excited about my position as a teacher when compared with yesterday's very ominous and somewhat melancholy post, but I've just finished marking one stack of Grade 9 projects, and after staring at a good deal of mediocrity with moments of brilliance, I need to let my frontal lobe take a break before diving into grade 10 research projects which I'll have to scan for plagiarism very closely. Still have a long night ahead... but there's light at the end of the tunnel... this is the only marking I'll have to do until February! Weeee... Peace out....

- T

Again, with the insecurities

I'm in the process of getting ready for the next term of teaching, and I'm finding myself very pensive and nervous and battling feelings of insecurity. Part of this is probably due to the fact that I went on ratemyteachers.com and didn't really get a resounding review. And that was from a student in my English class, which I thought was the better of the two classes that I taught last term. And I never seem to be able to shake this feeling of being overwhelmed at the sheer mass of qualities and skills and expectations that go along with the job.

Like I've mentioned before, I did relatively well in my first term as far as my sponsor teachers and univeristy advisor were concerned, and everyone seemed to be happy with what I had accomplished. I'm just not sure whether it's just the nature of this job or if it's my own incessant feelings of insecurity that I keep returning to, but I feel singularly inadequate when thinking about what I'm doing in the classroom. There are so many things I feel I need to change for term #2, but I can't even seem to pull a course outline together for this coming term! I don't even know where to begin, and I keep feeling like I've bit off more than I can chew... and anyone that knows me can vouch for the fact that I can fit a lot in this mouth.

K left for work today puzzled at my mood. I woke up and was just edgy all day. We ate a nice breakfast, watched a taped episode of "Numb3rs", hung out, went for a nice walk through the park outside our apartment, had a tasty lunch, and she headed out to work. But the whole time we were together, I was battling this nagging sensation of frustration and bitterness... not at her, but at how I've been feeling in general. I have these big ideas of what I'd love to do for teaching, but I have trouble laying down an adequate foundation for how to carry out these big ambitions. And then there's the question of where I'm going to work, and where K and I are going to settle down, and there's pressure to get back to the prairies and to get closer to our families... and I don't even know if I'm up to what this job expects of me. Some of my friends and family have mentioned that I'm going to be a great teacher, or that I have the perfect personality for a teacher. I don't even really think that I'm sold on this. But even if I was, the personality is only one piece to a complicated puzzle. Some of my character flaws have come through in the classroom, and I hate the fact that I think and rethink things I've said or done to the point where I obsess over my mistakes. I can't tell you how many times I've realized that I'm just an obsessive over-analyzer, but this doesn't make me feel any better about much of anything.

Maybe I just need some bloody exercise. And maybe I just need to figure out a way to get over myself and deal with everything as it comes. And maybe I just need a pint of Jack Daniels and some inspiring movies to change my mood.

Wow, I guess that's enough verbal catharsis for one night. The funny thing is, I'm sure I'll be feeling radically different tomorrow. C'est la vie... ma vie.

- T

Did I tell you about the chicken?

I was driving down the street here in Kelowna in December. The roads are a bit slick, and since Christmas was swiftly approaching, people seemed more impatient and more erratic on the roads than normal. I made a few stops to pick up a few odds and ends, picked up one of K's Christmas presents very sly-like, and was heading to another location for more Christmas shopping adventures.

I was approaching a turn and a fellow driver nearly drove me off the road... he was obviously a bit more hurried than I was. Luckily, I was feeling pretty calm, and let the incident roll off my back. As I come up to the next turn, I look into the parking lot of the Canadian Tire that I was passing by, and I saw something out of place. It was as if the song, "One of these things is not like the other one... one of these things is not the same" came into my head. I slowed a bit and narrowed my eyes into a stiff squint to make sure I wasn't seeing things.

Nope, no hallucinations here. There was a damned rooster running around in the Canadian Tire parking lot!

Now, if there was a petting zoo on, it wouldn't have seemed strange. And I'm from the prairies, so it's not like I haven't seen a bloody rooster before. Hell, even if it were in the parking lot of Safeway or Costco, I probably would've laughed and thought, "Wow, at least you know they carry some fresh poultry!" But Canadian Tire isn't exactly the place you go for tasty fruits and fresh-from-the-butcher meats.

The strangest thing was that there were absolutely no people around! It was as if this rooster departed the Greyhound after an overnight from Cranbrook and said, "Hmmm... looks like my destination", hopped off and decided he needed some power tools or a new crock pot. He probably left after realizing that he didn't have the necessary opposable thumbs to create a wonderful stew or to frame a house.

After seeing this very out of place creature, I did the first thing to cross my mind... I called one of my fellow interns who has a true appreciation for random events. The message was a bit redundant, and featured me yelling (repeatedly) into the receiver, "I just saw a frickin' rooster in the Canadian Tire parking lot! A bloody rooster! What the hell is a rooster doing in the Canadian Tire parking lot?!?"

And then I almost plowed into another holiday shopper because I was a little distracted. Moral of the story? Don't indulge in your amazement at out of place poultry when driving a hatchback.

- T

And just because Cibi did it...

I'll do the same... here are the titles and first sentences from the first post of each month since I've been blogging... cheesy, I'm sure, but here ya go... a little blogging Nostalgia for everyone! I think Cibi actually put only the first line, but my need for complete sentences will override this expectation...

First post of April, 2006 (my first post ever):
Dear diary, I met the nicest girl...
Okay, maybe this isn't so much a private diary with stars on the cover where I muse on the juvenile influences of eighth grade.

May 3rd, 2006:
Getting screwed...
Another warning... work rant... only for those who care about how pissed off I am...

June 11th, 2006:
My life isn't really that interesting...
It's definitely been a couple weeks since the last posting.

July 5th, 2006:
A world of similarities...
I've been thinking a good deal lately about the differences among people, and the relationship of our identities in contrast to the identities of others.

August 4th, 2006:
Sometimes you start to lose hope in the media
Okay, I guess it may be more than sometimes.

September 1st, 2006:
Goodbye home, hello home
It's the same area code.

October 12th, 2006:
Fatigue, Stress, and anxiety... I love this job...
Did the title come off as sarcastic?

November 2nd, 2006:
And the season comes to an end...
Our volleyball team finished the final game of their season last night.

December 4th, 2006:
Entry 60... T.M.'s Guide to a Great Internship
Three more weeks to go! Weeeeeeee!

That's all, folks.

- T

New Year's Resolutions and the like

I don't actually have any New Years Resolutions. And I've never really been interested in making them either. I appreciate the sentiment of grandiose declarations of change and improvement in one's life, but I'm highly suspicious as to why these changes don't happen at other times. Why not March 22nd? I'm sure it would be as good as any other day.

Okay, maybe this is a bit cynical. I know we all have good intentions to change something about ourselves when we get reflective, but it seems that a simple change of calendar year is just as arbitrary a holiday as anything else. Funny how this calendar thing affects us. Rather than indulge in this "I'm going to be a different person" thing for 2007, I'll look back on some of the more momentous things that took place in 2006 in the year of me...

10 "Big Things" that have happened in the past year:

1) Graduating with my University degree (my first one, anyway).
2) Having my 1 year marriage anniversary and my 5 year overall anniversary with K
3) Getting into the Internship program for teaching
4) Finishing my summer classes and my Term 1 practicum successfully
5) Selling "Grimace", my beloved purple Sunbird that gave me many memories and many times where I needed extra strength antacids for the stress that bloody purple beast gave me
6) Embracing the fact that my hair is not going to become any more plentiful, and shaving it down to stubble
7) Organizing an enjoyable and successful pub crawl for my fellow Interns at the end of the summer (I don't get out much, so this was a big deal!)
8) Working as a Trainer for College Pro in Calgary for a month... I'd never actually been contacted for a job I didn't apply for, and had never been flown out to a place for a job. Although I didn't make my million, it was thoroughly enjoyable.
9) Coached my first volleyball team... though not exactly successful in the W/L department, it was fun all the same
10) Heard about my first close friend to have a baby. Again, Congrats Mr. T, and Mrs. T as well!

These aren't really in order, but it pretty much recaps the big events of 2006. I've been filling out applications today for my acceptance into the BCCT, and on almost every sheet, I've had to scratch out "Jan. 2nd, 2006" and edit the year to read "2007". Although a big cliched, the year has flown by, and I guess we look forward to the next! I'll try to add some new pictures to the "My Pictures" section soon as a tribute to the year.

Bonne Annee, mes amis.

- T

Stuck in the wonderful Rockies...

And not just the Rockies, but the glorious town of Golden, B.C. It's actually beautiful here... the snow is slowly falling outside, everything is wearing a charming white blanket, and the town is nearly silent.

It doesn't change the fact that we're kinda-sorta stranded here until tomorrow. The roads are miserable and slippery, drivers are morons, and I'm a bit of an anxious guy when the roads are remotely terrible. Other than K's anxiety about missing work tomorrow, I think we're both in good spirits. We just returned from a quiet dinner, and our hotel room is clean, warm and has free internet. Really, things could be much worse. And I've been battling a cold for the past 2 days, so I'm glad for the rest from the road. When it takes you 4.5 hours to drive a distance that should only take 3 hours, I get a little bit stressed out.

Still, the holidays were enjoyable, except that they were far too short. We spent less than 48 hours in Lethy visiting my parents and the rest of the M family, and drove up to Airdrie to visit the in-laws for the same stint of less than 48 hours. Santa spoiled us rotten, and my big brother came up with some fantastic gifts for both K and I. Really, all the gifts were great, but J's gifts just showed a great deal of thought and sentiment, and K and I both appreciated it enormously. The worst part about these visits is that we just don't have enough time to visit with everyone. I didn't even have the chance to visit with my grandparents on my dad's side. When there's 25 people around and you only have 2 hours to see each one of them, people get missed or ignored altogether. I'm excited that next year we'll hopefully create an opportunity to see everyone for a great deal longer.

"Oh, the weather outside is frightful (actually, it's not that bad, but the roads suck)
But the [radiator] inside is delightful. (well, moderately respectable, anyway)
And since there's no place to go (except home and work)
Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow (as long as it lets up and is clear driving in the morning)."

Happy holidays, all!

-T

Mixed emotions on the final day before holidays

I woke up this morning tired as hell. I haven't slept a tonne lately, and I got to bed later than I was hoping last night. There's so much to do before going back home for Christmas that it seems like we're always puttering until we're well past the need for sleep.

But I walked into the school this morning with mixed feelings. I'm really excited that I don't have much to do for today, and that I'm on holidays as of 3:19pm this afternoon. I have some small tokens of appreciation for my sponsor teachers, and I brought some cookies for the staff. But I'm getting kinda sad... I don't teach any of these kids again after today, and even though a number of them have pushed my buttons and provided a very good foundation for many decades of ulcers, I really enjoy coming here in the morning. I really like getting to know the students and trying to get them interested in what I'm teaching. I try to make fun of myself enough so that they can feel at ease. And I did get to know a few of them really well, and it definitely sucks that I have to say goodbye to teaching them. I know I'll see them in the new year, since I'm around until June, but unless I get a job here, I won't teach them again. And 99% of them are students I want to teach again.

Not to mention it's Christmas, and since I moved away from home, I become really sentimental when Christmas time comes around. I become a bit of a blubbering idiot when I go back and see my families. I'm a pretty independent guy and really like doing my own thing, but I'm still close with my whole family, and sometimes it's hard being a 9 hour drive away. It's even harder when you're a ferry trip AND a 13 hour drive away.

Last night Kerrie and I also exchanged gifts, and she bought us a little resort getaway for March over Spring Break, which I'm really excited for. Those have always been my favorite gifts... nice meals at a nice restaurant, nights away at a resort, or just excuses to relax in general. We rarely ever get a chance to take the opportunities, so when they come along, I appreciate them so much more.

I hope I'll have a chance to update again before Christmas, but if I don't, I hope the 10 people who read this have a wonderful Christmas and a safe holiday season. Take care! Until again, my friends...

-T

I think I'll get to sleep on Sunday

Lately I haven't been sleeping well. Particularly last night, I think the rush and stress related to this last push before Christmas holidays has made me restless and actually caused quite a mediocre day for me in the mood department. If you look at the day's events, it would've seemed like a wonderful day. But I simply couldn't enjoy it, even though I tried. I arrived on time, starting working first thing in the morning, and I didn't have to teach. I had a chance to hang out for lunch with some of the other teachers, had a good chat with one of my fellow interns, received a free dinner during our staff meeting, got some stuff done at the house, and was sleeping before 11pm. Seems successful, no? But I was feeling this miserable anxiety through almost the whole day, and I couldn't shake it. I really questioned the success of my first term, and was frustrated with the progress in my SS class, since they weren't nearly as far as I think they should have been. I felt cynical and bitter and didn't really have any plausible reason for it.

But, today is a new day. And I brought cookies.

On the bright side, Christmas holidays start on Friday afternoon at approximately 2pm. I'm giving a test in the first half of the afternoon class, and we have a school-wide assembly after that at 2pm, so I'll officially be done with the teaching thing when the assembly starts. And then it's back to Alberta on Saturday! I'm really excited, and it sounds like I'll be able to sleep in and be lazy for a good part of Sunday. It's gonna be blissful.

And just a plug for a Canadian musician... if you haven't heard Sarah McLachlan's new Christmas album, you should... I thought it was wonderful. I had dinner over at one of my sponsor teacher's houses two nights ago and they had it playing in the background. It's sombre, but it's beautiful music.

- T

Reflections in the wake of tragedy

An acquaintance of mine just had her father pass away from a hard battle with lung cancer. Every time I hear of such a tragedy, I seem to really reconsider my priorities in life. I think it's sad that it takes such a tragedy for me to take stock in what's really important in life. I like to think I have my priorities straight, but in times like these, I really do not think I do.

One thing it does... it definitely makes me thankful that I'm able to go back to Alberta next weekend to see my family.

"Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted"... I can only hope that this is true. If you ever read this, Teak, my thoughts (and K's) are with you. Take care.

- T

Homeward Bound in 8 days and my teaching philosophy

It's true, I'm still counting down the days. Obviously, this means I might be a bit excited about getting back to the 4-0-3 to visit the families over the holidays. Unfortunately (as always), K and I are only able to go back for about four days due to K needing to work and pay the bills, but it's still going to be nice to be able to see everyone. It actually works out really well considering the limited amount of time we get to visit, since I'll be able to see pretty much all the relatives in one fell swoop back in Lethy, and we'll be able to do the same in Airdrie immediately thereafter.

Part of the excitement is related to the fact that I get some time off from school, which is going to be thoroughly enjoyable. I love being here, but it's a job that you take with you wherever you go, so there's really not much for actual "days off". This is particularly true since we have education classes on top of our teaching. Still, I'm not complaining... other than the mediocre pay, I think I may have stumbled into the perfect job for me. There's holidays, and I get to stand up in front of groups of people and talk as much as I want. Really, for anyone who knows me at all, this is something positive. I may or may not be a bit notorious for being long-winded (and completely full of it).

I've also stumbled across some early ideas about what my teaching philosophy is going to look like, so if you're even the slightest bit interested, you can go here and read about my thoughts about this whole teaching thing. Ciao, all...

- T

P.S. Happy Birthday, Mom!

A new favorite

I've been denying for years that I actually enjoy country music. I always found that there were too many songs about hound dogs and riding horses and the joy and bliss of being a redneck. But I'm going to let out a secret... I don't even mind a lot of country music. And you could even say that I really like a bit of it. Possibly. Maybe.

A few weeks ago I asked a question in my Social Studies class: Is politics personal? Some of the students were a bit confused about what I meant by this, so I contextualized it a bit more and asked the question again: Is politics personal? I received a variety of reponses, some yes and some no... some fence-sitters as well (not surprisingly). But responses nonetheless.

I then played "Not Ready to Make Nice" by the Dixie Chicks. For anyone who knows the song and the recent events related to the band, you know about the controversy over the lead singer's comments about Bush on the eve of the invasion of Iraq. She publicly criticised Bush and his decision to invade Iraq while on stage in London, England, saying:

"... we're ashamed the President of the United States is from Texas."

Considering the political position of many (but not all) country music lovers in the U.S. (being of the right-wing conservative stream), this didn't exactly go over very well. Radio stations across the U.S. killed their airplay, and people started boycotting them, their concerts, and their music. They received threats, and nasty letters, and were mocked by other people in country music. This is also the time when patriotic symbolism in country music videos went through the roof. But "The Chicks" definitely ran into difficulties. This is where the song comes in.

After playing the song and reading off the lyrics to the class, I asked the question again: Is politics personal? There was still a variety of answers, but they had definitely changed. Most of the students had no idea this was going on at all. So we talked about it a little more, and discussed the nature of our rights to free speech, rights of consumerism and to buy what we want, and the right to personal safety. The conversation took on a whole

This is a long story that explains how I do actually enjoy some country music, and I've had the Dixie Chicks in my IPod for weeks now. I listen to "Not Ready to Make Nice" often. It's unbelievably scary to think about the extremes of personal conviction and the fear that some people need to instill in others in order to keep opinions from being shared. You see it in a variety of situations, but you don't often hear it as publicly.

I've actually always enjoyed some country, and even though I kicked up a fuss about it at home when my mom played it daily, I really don't minda lot of it. I've even attended some country shows (not that I had to pay money for them, but I still went). Does this mean I've got a pair of designer Wranglers on order and that I'm getting fitted for my Stetson next week? Not so much... I'd still take some good Kanye West over Toby Keith any day... but once in a while, Toby Keith may not be so bad.

- T

Oh yeah, I only have 4 more full days of teaching before Christmas holidays... weeeeee!

Do I count down the days?

I guess I do.

So, I really only have 5 more teaching days before the end of my teaching term. The way my schedule works is that I teach all day for one day, and the next day I have a full day of prep time. It seems like it would be glorious, but when you're not the hyper-organized, goal-setting, "I'm going to spend 3.57 hours on this activity before spending 1.32 hours on this activity" kind of guy, the whole-day prep is never as productive as it should be, even when I feel like I've worked extermely hard the whole time.

But, oh joy, oh bliss, it's the weekend. This week was extremely long, and when you teach grade 10's on Friday afternoon from 12:30-3:30, it's kinda hard to keep their attention, especially in a computer lab when they're doing research for their research projects. Thus, the frustration. I literally went into the office yesterday and did the biggest jumping heel click in the world... you know, the type you used to see in old musicals when young men receive a smooch on the cheek from the bird they've been chasing? Yuppers, that was me. The girls in the office got a kick out of it, but the head of our science department, who was standing close by, asked, "Does this mean that you don't like teaching, Mr. M?" I responded by saying, "Absolutely not, Mr. P! I LOVE teaching... It just means that I like Friday's MORE!" I thought this was clever, but he looked at me with this suspicious, "I don't know about you, Mr. M" sort of look. Oh well, can't please 'em all! :)

But I've officially received all of my Term 1 Summative Reports for this practicum, and the reviews were all pretty much top-notch. All my sponsors are generally happy with what I'm doing, and with a really good Term 1 report from all of them (1 Uni advisor and 2 sponsor teachers), I can start applying for jobs as of February if I want. Whether I do or not is a totally different story, but it's nice to know that I'm doing well enough to have the option. And every day I'm able to come home and know that I really like the kids I teach. I had a great tutorial after school with a bunch of the keeners in my class on Wednesday, and after getting creative with my test-writing to make it a little more entertaining, I received a good response from the Socials class that, in reality, could've gone really awry if I didn't try to provide some comic relief once in a while.

Although this isn't where I'm going to make my million, I've been really happy with how everything's gone (stress and all)... this is also easy to say now that I'm nearly done this term. The story may not be the same come April when I have 3 new sponsor teachers PLUS my Uni advisor. Only five more days... five more days... five more days.... :)

- T

Defining "irony" on my Wednesday night

After getting a bit of work done and having what seemed like the longest day ever, I sat down with K to watch some TV. We watched "The Biggest Loser", which is a reality TV competition profiling people on a ranch who attempt to lose the most weight every week in order to change their lives. The winner is "The Biggest Loser". I actually really enjoy watching it, just because I feel like I should work out, and by watching the show, I may soak up some motivation through osmosis.

Here's the irony...

During one commerical break, I went on the internet and typed in my information to figure out my BMI (Body Mass Index)... for a 24 year old guy who is 5'10" (like myself), my BMI should be 24. My actual BMI? 24.1. WEEEEEEEEEEE!

During the next commercial break, I walk into the kitchen, take out a bowl and a spoon, and fix myself a massive bowl of vanilla ice cream with chocolate sauce, along with a big glass of milk, then return to the living room to finish watching these people damn-near die in order to prevent dying from obesity. Hmmm... I'm not sure I'm making great connections here. Oh well, the ice cream was TASTY! :)

- T

Entry 60... T.M.'s Guide to a Great Internship

Three more weeks to go! Weeeeeeee!

Things in student-teaching land have been going relatively well. Although this week is going to be busy and challenging (as are most), I'm pretty excited that I'm going to be done my first term of student teaching in about 20 days. I actually only have 7 days of teaching left before Christmas holidays, so that makes it even more scary and more intense!

I actually want to share my Powerpoint presentation that I did for my education class on Saturday, which was a sort of Bonehead's Guide to a Great Practicum, but I have no clue how to (or even if I can) post powerpoint files onto here for everyone to see. But I'm going to post the text anyway.... I don't know if the pictures I'm using are really kosher to use if they're copyrighted... I guess I should just deny that I copywrited any images or cartoons :) So here it is...

T.M.'s Guide to a Great Teaching Practicum

1) You are a sponge.
Your number one goal is to beg, borrow, and steal absolutely any suggestions, materials, or good advice possible while enrolled in the internship program. You're paying to work, so soak it up, and take everything you can!

2) There are two certainties in teaching: prep and sleep deprivation.
We all want time to enjoy ourselves, but a better lesson means a better teaching experience for you and your students (believe me, this comes directly from experience). Make sure that you're well planned, you're keeping a "Big Picture" in mind, and you're constantly setting goals for yourself. Will this create magic? Probably not. But it will help make you better teachers.

3) Have a "Plan Y"
You may very well go through 24.9 ideas (both good and bad) in a class... you're going to need a #25. Always have a backup plan in case things don't go your way.

4) Students are like dogs... they can smell fear from a mile away.
Classroom management is vitally important to a quality teaching experience. Post your rules in plain sight, keep them simple, and back up your threats. Remember, you run the show. Students can have fun, but they always need to remember who is in charge.

5) Pack Lightly
Your students will bring enough baggage to school for everyone. You are not just a teacher... you are a parent, a psychologist, and a confidant. Which hat will you wear today? Chances are, the answer is all of them.

6) When dealing with parents: Hope for the best, but expect the worst.
You really never know how parents are going to react to your teaching. Hope for praise (because we all know that you ARE a great teacher), but expect that everything may not be rosy. These parents are looking out for their children's best interest. Let them talk, listen to what they say, and respond with patience and calm. Be the ball. Get in the zone. You are Yoda.

7) Networking in the school should not be limited to internet access.
Get to know your staff. These people will be your colleagues, your friends, and your comrades-in-arms for the rest of your career. Make yourself a part of their social world.

8) When in doubt, hug a receptionist or a custodian.
These people are in control of your photocopying, ordering, and school-supply fate. Do your best to get to know them and, if possible, "make their day" once in a while.

9) Think of every day as Friday.
Take some time out of every day just to talk to someone. We all need time to vent, especially after seven hours of being bombarded by teenage hormones. Maybe there's a blog out there that could be of use... maybe not though (Inside joke... I set up another blog for my fellow interns). But try to make time to engage in cathartic activities that relieve your daily stresses and share your experience with as many people as possible.

10) You are your biggest asset.
We all have family, friends, and some form of a social life. Try to make time to embrace this. Yes, you are a teacher now, and your occupation stretches outside the walls of the school However, you still need to keep living your life. Air is your friend, so breathe it in. Relax. Enjoy this time. Although it's stressful, it's probably the only time in your career that you will have people helpingand supporting and listening to you whenever you're feeling down. Take advantage and enjoy it.

This presentation was accompanied by witty banter and clever cartoons and images that turned it into an "A" effort. You'll just have to imagine how wonderful it is, and if you want, I can send you a copy of the file. For tonight, my friends... adieu...

- T

My Friday

Interesting day... I had the opportunity to discuss legalized euthanasia, the budding Canadian landscape, Elizabethan theatre, and the hygiene habits of Englishmen in the 16th century. I'd say it was a pretty successful day, all in all.

Even though there were minor frustrations, I found that I left the class today with a little pep in my step and a need to tell someone about my day. It wasn't overly problematic with behaviour issues or attitude and my English kids seemed to enjoy the fact that I gave them an opportunity to insult me with a predeveloped list of Shakespearean terms that ranged from "toadstool" to "whore-monger". Even though my History classes aren't overly-exciting, I'm still managing to feel my way through the material, all the while dreaming of next term when I can actually incorporate some of the activities and new knowledge and methods of organizing myself that I haven't been able to include yet.

Before entering teaching, I anticipated that I would really dislike teaching poetry and Shakespeare. However, I've been pleasantly surprised... I'm entering the last few weeks of Part 1 of my practicum knowing that I really enjoy teaching these forms of language-art. I get right into writing my own haikus and telling people about how Shakespeare probably only bathed once a year (in May, of course). I also enjoy hearing students complain about poetry and Shakespeare, only to hear them change their tune by the end of class.

And I have a breakfast "meeting" with two of my sponsor teachers tomorrow... in other words, I'm hanging out with the boys for a hour or two in the morning. I still have a tonne of work to do in the next 2 days, but maybe things aren't too bad... hell, the weather's even warming up.

- T

Envy

The alarm rang at 5:55am this morning, as per usual. K reached over and hit the snooze button so I could get 9 more minutes of much needed slumber bliss (also part of the normal ritual). Finally, when the radio starting screaming at us again, I crawled out of my toasty bed and made the bitterly cold dash for the bathroom so I could turn on the steamy shower and enjoy a few more minutes of warmth while I tried to rub the sleep from my eyes. I've been known to have a standing nap while in the shower on a cold day, but this was not one of those days. After I spent as long as possible enjoying the hot water, I needed to keep going with the ritual. After tossing on some comfy home-clothes (also known as sweats), I headed to the living room for breakfast (again, the usual: cereal with some fruit and a glass of juice) and some random tidbits of Dawson's Creek, sports highlights, random excerpts from the CBC morning news, and a brief perusal of the Weather Channel. Not too nice out there, that's for sure.

It was then into the kitchen to make some coffee for K and I and prepare a lunch for me... also predictable: soup, granola bar, fruit bar, an apple and some crackers. As always, I looked at my watch and the panic began to set in. 7:00am and still teeth to brush, bag to pack, clothes to put on, keys to find, coffee to prepare, wife to kiss, a double check and out the door. It never ceases to amaze me how I can follow this routine time and time again. The same ritual takes place every day, and I'm usually rushing out the door because if I don't leave at a specific time, my bus leaves without me. Rarely am I early, but often I'm late. I guess it just wouldn't be ME if I wasn't rushing around like a bonehead... that's the way I roll.

So after filling all ritual requirements for the morning, I headed out the door and down the apartment stairs when WHAM! A bag of bricks to the solar plexus! The cold met me with a cocky grin... it was -24... without any consideration of the wind chill which was, luckily, minimal. I made the 10 minute walk to the bus with my awesome UFA toque, mitts, long johns, etc., waited for another 5-6 minutes for the right bus, and finally warmed up and drank my coffee as the sun rose over the valley. I like those scenes where everything is bathed in a warm orange glow of the sunrise... it makes the icy roads and frozen breath seem just a little more bearable.

When I got to the school I received an email telling me that Vancouver Island is getting more snow and Victoria is pretty much shutting down. The punks out west (also known as the Island's Student Teachers) get another snow day, and my blogging buddy told the world all about it. Another friend from Alberta asked me last night if we got any snow days here... I told her that unlike Victoria, the Okanagan actually had ploughs. Envy is seeping from my pores. I'm kinda wishing that I was still on the Island... I could definitely use a mid-week holiday.

I know... poor me :)

- T

Bienvenue a l'hiver

I think that's the French translation. Maybe if Erin stops by she can verify my linguistic (in)abilities.

It's pretty much been snowing non-stop for 24 hours. I think there were short stints of clarity, but this is the most snow I've seen in about 4 years. I'm definitely a prairie boy at heart, but after living on the coast for 3 years and moving out to the Okanagan, this is the first real chunk of winter I've seen since I was back living at home in the 4-0-3.

It was actually quite beautiful yesterday. Movie-scene snowflakes were falling everywhere, gather in neat little piles on window ledges and tree branches. Dogs donned cute little sweaters and people were brushing off their cars as if it was an enjoyable novelty. I'm sure they were thinking, "It's not too cold out... maybe this whole winter thing isn't too bad after all!" Well, they probably thought this until they got back into their houses, turned on the weather channel and noticed that Tuesday is supposed to see a high of -14 degrees. MINUS 14!!! I moved away from Alberta for a few reasons, one of them being that there was actually WINTER! I sure don't think my walk to the bus tomorrow morning is going to be too enjoyable. At all.

Maybe if K gets a job that pays $100k per year, we can actually afford to go out to the coast and fly back regularly to Alberta to visit. Who am I kidding... neither of us are going to be able to do such a thing anytime soon. Unless our numbers come through on the lotto. I guess that means I should buy a ticket more than once a year.

My first-term summative report is happening this coming Friday for my practicum, so wish me luck. It's only causing a moderate amount of stress, since I'm more worried about figuring out some interesting activities to teach Canadian Confederation on Tuesday and Thursday and get through the rest of my unit lessons before December 22nd. Oh joy, oh bliss... C'est la vie.

- T

Poems for Thursday

Some people think that I'm a big nerd. Okay, I am. But I like to think that the fact that I write occasional poems is respectable, and proves my masculine security. So here are two haikus that I wrote this summer during my English "Methods" class:

The dew dripped slowly
Over the stone steps for years.
The stone yields, broken.

Bird perched on a wire;
The energy of the world
Passes underfoot.

- T

Things you may not know...

I was once obsessed with the internet. Some might be suspicious as to whether this is still the case, and I think an argument could probably be made. But I can live (reluctantly) without it. However, about 8 years ago it really became a huge part of my daily life and definitely developed a part of me.

I used to listen to a lot of hard rock and alternative music while I was in high school. Although I still appreciate some music in those genres today, I have Corinne Bailey Rae, Billie Holiday, and Dave Matthews Band in my IPod these days. Much more mellow. But I listened to a lot of Creed when they were popular. I also listened to some Pearl Jam, Tea Party, Matt Good, and other various rock bands. But after listening to Creed daily, I started looking for band information and concert dates which may have provided me with an opportunity to see them live. Unfortunately, it was not meant to be. However, I did come across something else: an online BBS (Bulliten Board System).

Now, I should say that, for those of you who don't know (probably no one, since only about 8 people read this blog, my immediate family members being 5 of them), I grew up going to church most Sundays and attended Catholic school my entire life. I still go back to my old high school when I'm home in Alberta to visit some of my old teachers. My mom even works at my old elementary school (and has been for numerous years). Jokingly, I used to call myself a "cultural Catholic". A cultural Catholic is like a secular Jewish person, but with a rosary at the centre of the tradition rather than the Torah or a Yamulka.

In my teens, I started really getting into intense song lyrics and books about religion, both western and eastern. I went through a fairly long phase of constantly questioning my religious beliefs and engaging with other people on the topic. My mom tells me that I kicked up a pretty big fuss when "confirmation" came around (Junior High sometime, I think about 13-14 years old), and continued to challenge such things for numerous years thereafter. I stopped going to church around the age of 16 or 17, and although I occasionally attend now and have no real problem attending church, it's not something I pursue very often.

So, back to being an internet geek. I went to Creed's official website and stumbled across this bulliten board. It was mainly a place where people could talk about Creed's music, concerts they attended, lyrics they liked, etc. It also had a religion forum, since Creed's lyrics were highly allegorical and made many intense religious and/or Biblical allusions. I enjoyed the songs and music since it wasn't strictly religious, but definitely represented a perspective that was highly involved in engaging with religious questions or ideas. So I read. And kept reading. And then I signed up. And I posted once. Then again. Until I was posting nearly every day in a personal battle with every person on the board who had never questioned their personal religious beliefs or were so narrow-minded that I took it upon myself to enlighten them to the highly personal and highly relative nature of religious beliefs, particularly the vast differences between the various sects of Christianity and the suspicious foundation on which some of those beliefs were founded. . I was really interested in Reformation history, the history of the Catholic church, and the reasons for why modern Christianity existed in the form it did. So I kept posting. And arguing. And engaging.

This took up a lot of time. I neglected homework, was disrespectful to my parents, ignored my friends to a certain degree, and became somewhat obsessed. The funny thing is, I don't regret it for a second. Well, maybe the disrespecting parents part (and I know that it still happens from time to time), but otherwise, it was a very important formative experience for me.

I started reading a little bit about Deism and Taoism and Buddhism, and little bits about Islam and a touch of philosophy. I started reading C.S. Lewis and engaged with some of his arguments in Mere Christianity. In reality, I spent years wrestling with these beliefs and ideas and my guilt about what I was supposed to believe and what I believed in reality.

It's funny, but I still think of certain passages from the Bible that I still find extremely relevant. I'm not a believer in any sort of Biblical literalism (or anything near it), but I can't help but believe that there are some great things to be found in there. I still love the story of Jacob who wrestled with a messenger from God all night until he would be blessed... it is from this story that the name "Israel" was given to God's people, which literally means "He who wrestles with angels". I've always loved the name Jacob. Likewise, Proverbs 25:2 recalls this story: "It is the will of God to conceal an issue, but it is the glory of Kings to search out a matter". These phrases still have meaning in my life. But then again, I could probably give you a few similar passages from the mouth of Buddha or the Bhagavad Gita that reinforce such things. Another funny thing: I seem to always end up as the great "Defender of the Faith"... not literally, but it seems like every time I come across someone who doesn't understand Catholicism or Christianity or the history of Western religion, I feel as though I need to pipe up. I guess that's my Catholic training coming through, which I don't mind.

I know I've posted it before, but I'll leave it again; it's a quote from C.S. Lewis' "Mere Christianity:

"For the longest way round is the shortest way home"

It may take a long while to get someplace, but that just means that it was the right destination all along (indulging in my more romantic sentiments... I still watch Dead Poets' Society from time to time).

- T

Uhh... wow.

Wow.

I can't believe he just said/did that!

I think a little bit of puke just came up.

These were my reactions last night as I watched Sacha Baron Cohen spend about 95 minutes offending at least one sect of modern society at any given point. Yes, I went to see Borat last night with some of the interns and a teacher colleague of Mr. M's last night. Although I was constantly laughing/cringing/nauseous, I thought about the fact that I can never admit to my students that I went to see that flick! I really did think it was funny, but in a "I feel violated and uncomfortable" sort of funny that I almost feel guilty for enjoying.

K.M. made a good point about it after we returned to my place and had a drink to talk about our teaching experiences and the movie and other such interesting things. He noticed that Borat goes out of the way to make racist/sexist commentary throughout, which is obvious and blatant when taken from Borat's point of view. However, it's juxtaposed with allegedly "normal" Americans who reinforce those same values but do not see the irony or offensive nature of those values. He does a great job, too, of playing on the ignorance of American cultural ignorance, and a fellow blogger did a good job of pointing this out.

A funny side story... I was talking with my in-laws a couple years ago and made a bit of a slip in the conversation... for some reason, I was talking about what church in Calgary my grandparents went to, and it came out as "They attend a Pentecostal church in the Varsity area". After leaving, I was talking to Kerrie and it suddenly came into my mind... I looked at K and asked, "Did I say my grandparents went to a Pentecostal church?" "Umm... yeah, you did," she responded. Immediately I felt like an imbecile. "They aren't Pentecostal! They're Presbyterian! I have no idea why I said that! Now your parents think that my grandparents go to a church where people drop on the floow and speak in tongues!" I made a point of correcting my error the next time we visited them so there was no confusion. If you have seen Borat, you'll know exactly why this was such a severe error. K and I still laugh every time we think of Pentecostals. Not that there's anything wrong with being Pentecostal. I just don't believe in the whole modern Tower of Babel thing. However, I do want to see the new Brad Pitt movie, mainly due to the allusion to that very story.

Okay, no more ranting... time for work. Until again...

- T